Welcome to my recipe for disaster. On Thanksgiving Day this year my daughter will be 21. I am trying to combine a milestone birthday, a holiday, the umpteenth anniversary of my father's death and a tentacled divorce. I can't even tell you the half of it because doing so here would compromise the privacy of people close to me. I'm leaning toward Jet Blue. I will focus instead on stuffing.
My favorite stuffing story was the year I decided to make the bird at my house and transport it to my late brother Stephen's home. People were not relaxed. I was never known as the turkey girl and I that year I was going to show them!
Everyone at the table watched in awe as my mother pulled a plastic bag of innards out of the stuffing cavity. I can still hear my brother's hysteria. This year I'm at it again...shoot me.
For decades it was my mother's Italian egg stuffing recipe. A combination of, roughly, a dozen large eggs, a handful of grated Locatelli cheese, a handful of chopped fresh Italian parsley, enough plain bread crumbs to thicken the mix till it drips off a spoon and a little salt and pepper. This then blows up inside the turkey and is absolutely delicious.
My sister-in-law Susie started going with her sausage & chestnut stuffing and my stuffing allegiance is now challenged. Actually, I am open to stuffing suggestions. Got any?
Who? Who? You are wondering. Good headline eh?
First the backstory. On Sunday my late brother Stephen's beautiful wife remarried.
His 11 year old daughter was a flower girl and his two boys ages 11 and 10 walked their mom down the aisle and gave her away.
Waiting at the altar was her lovely new husband. His 16 year old daughter and his 14 year old son from a previous marriage were also in the ceremony.
Suffice to say it was a bittersweet day for my family.
Tears of sadness flowed as freely as the notes from the saxophone playing in church, as we watched his family move on without him.
Tears of joy flowed too, for this wonderful new opportunity and for this blended family that found each other to move forward with.
The party was classy and full of love and my sister-in-law and her new hubby left for a two-day mini honeymoon in NYC.
I volunteered to sleep over and handle things on day two.
The kids live in my old house. My brother had bought it from my mom.
It's decorated different but its the same house.
I took the kids out to dinner, struggled through homework and finally needed to lay down.
It didn't matter where, but the kids wanted me to sleep in my sister-in-law's room.
I cannot tell you how it felt laying there. It had been years.
It was my parents room at one time and visions of my late father laying on the bed watching football came rushing back. Gone.
Then I imagined my brother lying where he used to in this very same room. Gone.
Now his kids jump in bed with me and want to talk about their dad because I am one of the closest things left to him and they need to talk about him.
We do.
We also talk about this new wonderful man who loves my sister-in-law and them, and his kids who are now officially their step-brother and sister.
read more »On Sunday, I apparently bribed the 11-year-old daughter of my long-lost, now divorced, male friend from college. You may remember that I recently ran into him in Grand Central Station in New York.
The bribe: Presents to make the kid like me!
It didn't start out seeming like a bribe to like me ... it just turned out that way. This was a great friend I’d lost touch with for 17 years. We were at each other’s weddings; he held my daughter when she was born, but I had never met his two daughters.
Last week he and I went out for an eight-hour, belly-laughing, catch-up dinner. This weekend was his weekend with his girls, and we had very loose tentative plans so that I might meet his daughter. On Sunday, around 5, I was on the endless check-out line at HomeGoods when he called.
He and his younger daughter were nearby. Did I want to join them for a bite?
Absolutely!
If you've ever been to a HomeGoods, you know they ambush you with impulse items while they have you held captive on the checkout line. I decided to buy the little girl a gift. A cute little, hard-cover notepad tied with ribbon.
Perfect!
But wait — maybe she would enjoy some origami to keep her busy at her Dad's house.
Perfect!
But wait — they just played tennis for 15 hours, and the colorful little ped socks with the different designs will probably come in handy, because no divorced Dad has a pair of cute matching ped socks for their little girls handy when they need them.
Perfect!
I couldn't decide so I bought all three. And how cute – I'll buy these manly, cool peds for my friend, so he doesn't feel left out.
When I got to the restaurant, I spotted them sitting together and weaved my way through the tables toward them. I felt a rush of compassion for this lovely, divorced father intently doing his best by his daughter on his weekend with her.
read more »I will always know when it's Ivana Trump's new wedding anniversary, because I got married on the same day — April 12th. Difference is, I'm no longer married — thus the date no longer applies to me.
But the date does still exist, and every year all the faded, happy wedding day memories rush back and linger for 24hrs, along with a feeling that makes me a little queasy. It's kind of like the feeling you get on the birthday of someone you once loved who is dead. The wedding anniversary that no longer exists. A surreal event that you and your ex remember silently, privately, in separate new worlds on that day every year... Gone... Poof!... except for the wedding photo album which you have stashed away — somewhere.
So, while Ivana was getting married to her scandalously young fourth husband in Palm Beach (gotta love her), I celebrated Her/Our anniversary with my brother's kids at a Japanese restaurant, followed by a big sleepover at my house. My daughter (who was out with her boyfriend) came home late and woke me up off the floor where I fell asleep, discussing the meaning of life with a 9 year-old.
We were outside at the Norwalk Conn. Oyster Festival on Saturday night listening to The Village People who were performing "YMCA". It's still the only song people can spell with their bodies. Instead of a hot date, I brought along my cool, new iPhone.
For kicks, every time someone stepped up to the Margarita line behind us, I asked if they wouldn't mind taking a picture of us. Every single person was wowed by my phone and thought it was so cool that they wanted to try it out. This was the best shot (and that's me on the left).
Since my daughter was sleeping over at a friend's house, I decided to sleep over at Tina's. Everything with us is pretty much the same as it was in the old days — except the sleeping arrangements. She went to sleep with her husband and I went to sleep in her son's bed — alone. Come to think of it, I should probably start working a little harder on better Saturday night sleepover plans.
Last night after work, I had the good fortune to be invited by friends to take a boat ride across the Long Island Sound to have clams and cocktails at a place called Louie's in Port Washington, N.Y. I never like to miss a chance to be out on the water. I never get tired of a great sunset either (see photo).
So it's dark and we're sitting at a table outside and a guy approaches and he looks familiar and says his "other" friend recognized me and used to date me and was "over there." Really? Let's go say hello.
So there's this lovely, handsome man who comes from my hometown who knows me, who knows my family, and who says we dated for like two weeks when I was young, who I have no recollection of ever dating. Truthfully, I must be getting old because I've never forgotten one guy I ever dated and was a little embarrassed.
In a brief conversation, I found out he is a recently divorced dad, who'd been married for 20 years. The divorce was mutual but he is painfully concerned about the impact on his two grown daughters. I gave him my card and told him to stop by First Wives World, in the hope that something here would give him hope that things will turn out okay. In the meantime, I'm still wracking my brain trying to "remember."
Here's how it works for me: On my driver's license, my first name and my maiden name appear, then there's that HYPHEN and my ex-married name.
When I want to match my daughter, I keep the HYPHEN in between my maiden name and my ex-husband's last name. This also works for when a guy I'm not interested in asks me out and I pretend I'm still married.
When I want to match my mother, take credit for something business-wise or make sure someone from a past life knows it's me, I slip off the HYPHEN and let the married name temporarily dangle.
When I want to be anonymous, I hide my maiden name and slide that HYPHEN in the other direction and use just my first name and the married last name. This comes in handy for things like late bill-paying, road rage, radical relatives, knocking over a stack of cans in a supermarket and checking into scandalous places.
Nigro, by the way, is my maiden name...