As much as I enjoy the holidays, I'm really relieved that Christmas is over. I had an enjoyable season with my children and my family. I've grown so much closer to my family, sans husband. He never wanted to entertain at our house, and was never interested in spending any time with my family. So, after a few years of pleading with him, I finally just gave up and we stopped attending many of the family functions around the holidays, just so that I didn't have to listen to him complain.

I now regret making that concession. It wasn't fair to me, or my boys. They had so much fun playing with their cousins and enjoying the love that surrounds a large family. I'm sad that we missed out on previous holidays, but I'm pleased that there are more to come. They're not going anywhere, and they've not shunned us, despite my ex's behavior.

It's so easy to misjudge the value of things in your peripheral vision. Family has always been very important to me, but I was blinded by the fact that I haven't been a very good participant in my extended family. They've been there for me through thick and thin, and I didn't really see that, until now.

My vision has definitely changed. I won't deny my boys any more of their loving family. Now is the time I need to reach out to them, as the throes of 2008 will bring my "epic" divorce trial. I think I will definitely need some hand squeezing!