You know, it's easier for me to say and list the things that I don't want in my life. In discussing settlement options and living arrangements for the boys, the issue came up of moving closer to my ex.

Mind you, this would totally uproot the children from their school, their life in their neighborhood, including their friends, church, sport organizations, etc. So, I'm not sure how realistic of a mind-set this discussion even had, especially considering doing that to children. The goals are obviously not the same here — to keep the best interest of the children in mind at all times.

So, I'm not willing to relocate closer to my ex to facilitate shared parenting or co-custody. Right now, he's living with his mother, and I'm certainly not going to travel and move away from my friends, support system, etc., to watch he and his mom work together to raise my children. I'm not exactly sure in what world that would be considered okay from a mother's perspective ....

I know that having their dad around a bit more would be productive for the boys, especially considering that I didn't grow up with a father. I'm not willing to sacrifice my needs, though, to move - or to put the boys' emotional side at risk for the benefit of my ex. That I can't do, and is on my "don't do" list, which is becoming much more sturdy — and I'm very pleased with that.