It's been a month since Valentine's Day, my last big effort to reignite something of substance with Rob, to save us from demise due to indifference.

Rob and I never celebrated Valentine's Day, even in the best of times. We just weren't interested in forced romanticism, we said. Instead, we named it "New Leaf Day," and each year endeavored to turn one over in our relationship.

As the rest of the world chose stock-in-trade overtures in form of chocolate, flowers, and extravagant meals, we acknowledged each other mindfully and with awareness to our true situation. We dealt in cards promising support and small gifts of gratitude for the other's contribution to the troubled relationship.

Until this year. I made Rob dinner, wrote him a card with a sincere pledge of effort to improve our situation, and presented him with a Buddha statue in the Earth Witness Position, fingertips to the ground in recognition of the here and now.

Rob had nothing for me in return. Given the state of our relationship-lifeless-I shouldn't expect anything. But given our shared vision for this day, his inaction spoke volumes.

Over the last few weeks I've learned that indeed Rob is toying with giving up on us and moving on. This has come as a shock, as I thought I was the sole driver in this decision to stay or go. I should have known I had co-star capable of affecting the plot as much as I. Turns out I must prepare myself for a journey of which I won't always be in control. How silly of me to think otherwise. Interesting times ahead.