Okay, that last one was a quick post. When I wrote last weekend I was still in the midst of the family frenzy that is the holidays. No time to think, only DO!

Turns out Thanksgiving weekend was a great time despite the awkward moments and challenges endemic to the family only a year or two into divorce. 

Of course, the divorce in my family is my mother and father's divorce. And if this past holiday is a litmus test, it seems we're all still okay despite them deciding to tear the family apart. (Okay, I'm being dramatic. I've admitted I'm glad they split — they should have years ago.)

I need to take heed that good times didn't end when my parents divorced, for the holidays inevitably invite a downward spiral in my journey as a contemplator. There's nothing worse during the holidays for someone considering separation — it's the worst time to be caught between staying and leaving.

Twinkling tree lights, eggnog, and brass carols can remind me of childhood, of love, of warmth. But when you think it might be your last holiday with this particular mate in this particular home where you've put such a good faith effort into loving and celebrating, it's nothing if not bittersweet.

So one moment you're sad, but the next you're putting on a good face and trying — REALLY TRYING! — to enjoy the season. For meaningful connection this holiday season just might be the cement that turns your flimsy relationship into a rock-steady marriage ready to support growth and kids and a whole generation's worth of holidays.

It's my dream: A big family full of kids of all ages romping about the house as turkey dinner cooks, later coming home from college with their mates, and eventually bringing home children of their own.

No kids yet, so I'm not sure how I'm going to get there.