When the In-Laws Blame Me, It’s the Kids Who Suffer

When the In-Laws Blame Me, It’s the Kids Who Suffer

Posted to by Megan Thomas on Sat, 05/16/2009 - 8:43pm

It looks like news of our marital unrest has spread to my husband's side of the family. I wouldn't say that his family ever really liked me, but they have always tolerated me and have been cordial.  We just come from different backgrounds and don't mesh very well, and that's fine with me because it's not like we live near them or anything.

I've started planning the summer trip for the kids and me. We're going to head out to visit my family, and if we drive instead of flying we'll pass right through the two states where his parents and his brother live. In my mind, I thought it would be great (and logical) to stop in and see them because the kids get to see them so infrequently. 

Silly me for not realizing that my husband might have told them I tried to leave him, or at least I'm guessing that's what happened, because the response I got from his side of the family was lukewarm at best.

His brother told me that he might be able to have dinner with me and the kids, but wanted to make sure I knew that we can't stay with him.  The conversation with his mom was even more awkward. When I called and told her of my plans, there was a long pause, and then in the fakest voice I have ever heard in my life she said, "Oh, darn! I just booked a trip for that week!"

This is from the woman who doesn't travel because of medical issues, by the way.

I get the hint. His family knows that there are issues and they're blaming me. They're so mad at me that they're willing to skip out on seeing the kids because they don't want to be near me.  Ouch.
 

Comments

Your kids loss

My parents separated when I was 11 and divorced when I was 14. I grew up about two hours away from each of my grandmothers, who still live two hours apart from each other. When my parents separated, Dad ended up far far away. I'd fly to visit him. I think he only twice came up to see me... except for my graduations and wedding. As a result, I very rarely saw my Dad's mom, or that side of the family. And it hurts to this day.

I have been in that

I have been in that situation> Let him know what happened, don't visit them, and enjoy your trip.

Their loss

I know you feel bad for your children, but this has nothing to do with you. I would, however, let my husband know what happened.

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