What a Difference a Pill Makes

What a Difference a Pill Makes

Posted to House Bloggers by Wanda Woodard on Mon, 03/09/2009 - 2:26pm

I thought I was ready to be off of Prozac. Who was I kidding? I have a Serotonin deficiency – it doesn’t make me a crazy person. It makes me a person with a chemical disorder, and I’m tired of apologizing or being embarrassed about it. As my dear old psychiatrist Dr. Hamilton told me, “If the Serotonin is your problem, you’ll know in about two weeks of being on Prozac.”

He was right.

So why do I still sometimes feel weak and guilty about taking this prescription drug, which does not make me high and does not make me low? It simply keeps me from being anxious, riddled with discontent, and constantly feeling the “flight or fight” syndrome. It keeps me balanced.

I tried to stop taking it when my insurance changed and before my new insurance kicked in. I figured, do I really need it? I mean it’s been almost three years, do I need to take it anymore? Answer: Yes! Most definitely, yes!

No matter what it may mean for me in this lifetime, I know that if I do not stay on Prozac I cannot live a normal life. I start wanting to change my life, move, switch jobs, etc. Funny, when I was married, I told my ex that I needed to be on Prozac; I told him I’d been on it for a couple of years and that it had literally saved my life.

But he didn’t believe in taking prescribed medicine. (He always preferred the stuff you could get on the street!) He felt that my taking the Prozac was a sign of weakness. And he didn’t believe in therapy in general and certainly not psychologists or psychiatrists. He said they were all quacks.

Wow. Can you believe I was married to this guy? I like to think of myself as an educated, open-minded, free-thinking woman, but I married him knowing full well that he was who he was, well except for the drugs and the alcohol and the verbal and physical beatings – they came later.

But I should have known a man who doesn’t believe that a mind may need mending is a man who has lost his. 

I stay on Prozac. And I may stay on it my entire life. I only know what I know. On Prozac I function like any normal person.  Off Prozac I become anxious, irrational, moody, depressed, and, well, kind of scary if you want to know the truth.   

Do not be afraid to seek therapy. Don’t be afraid to take a prescribed drug. It doesn’t make you weak or crazy. It may just keep you sane.