As we all have learned thanks to the whole Britney Spears thing, Dr. Phil is not really a psychologist. Nevertheless, I still value his opinion. I agree with his advice that before you leave the marriage you need to earn your way out. I did this by trying everything I could possibly think of before leaving. I wanted to be able to someday look back and realize I had made every effort possible to save this marriage. I wanted to do this not only for myself, but for my kids as well.

Things where very bad in our home for about two years before I packed the kids and left. When it became physical, that was the end of it.

I suggested and even begged for counseling on numerous occasions. I even sought counseling for myself, since he would not go. He felt this was my issue, not our issue. Therefore, I had my work cut out for me. I was married to the only perfect person in the word. Thus, every problem we had was about my imperfections.

I purchased the post-divorce home a year before leaving. I wanted him to realize I was serious, and to have a place to go if things became too unbearable. This turned out to be the best investment I have ever made in my life. It made the transition so much easier. I didn't need to go to family or anyone for help. I had all the pieces in place to make this move with as little stress as possible for my kids.

I am thankful I took these steps before leaving. A well thought-out plan saved adding a huge amount of stress to an already stressful situation.

I have been having a good stage in my life lately. I seem to be settling into this new post-divorce self better than I thought I would. I used to be so nervous of what the next day might hold. I seem to be rolling through the days lately and not looking back with any regret, remorse, or unfinished business of any kind.

I hope I am finally seeing the light at the end of this two-year tunnel I have been stuck in.

I certainly am not ready to date or become involved in any way with another male. At least I don't look at myself and wonder if I have made the right decision everyday. I know I made the right decision. I did not rush into anything. I waited two years after the hell began before I ever walked out. I purchased my post-divorce home a year before leaving. (You would have thought he would have taken it seriously after that, but no reaction at all).

I think what may actually be happening is, I have realized this just was not meant to be. I have stopped blaming myself for yet another failed marriage. I felt a huge amount of guilt for not being able to make this work for my families' sake. In some way, I feel as though I am forgiving myself for whatever part I may have played in this.

I am truly happy with the stage I am in now. Whatever the reason, the days are looking much brighter lately.

Single and turning 40 — that's a heck of a combination. I do mean that in a good way! I am not freaked out about turning 40 in the least. I am actually rather excited to start a new decade in my life. I am hoping I have learned at least one or two things along the way.

I don't consider 40 to be old at all. I think I am actually in my prime. I'm getting more comfortable in my own skin every day. I like the way I look and feel. I'm satisfied with the relationships I have with my children.

When I was in my 20s and for most of my 30s, for some reason I never felt right about myself. Something was always too fat or to thin, too big or small. Just always something to pick myself apart about. The mad rushes to return to pre-baby weight. What will so-and-so think if I do such-and-such?

To be honest, I really don't care anymore. I've come to a place in my life where it is a take it or leave it mentality. If they decide to "leave it" I am perfectly fine with that. I no longer worry what everyone else will think.

It feels great to actually almost be an adult. Because in my book, if I'm not true to myself or not doing what's right for me and for my family, I'm lacking maturity — a key facet of adulthood.

Maybe by the time I'm 50, I'll know what I want to be when I grow up.