As we all have learned thanks to the whole Britney Spears thing, Dr. Phil is not really a psychologist. Nevertheless, I still value his opinion. I agree with his advice that before you leave the marriage you need to earn your way out. I did this by trying everything I could possibly think of before leaving. I wanted to be able to someday look back and realize I had made every effort possible to save this marriage. I wanted to do this not only for myself, but for my kids as well.

Things where very bad in our home for about two years before I packed the kids and left. When it became physical, that was the end of it.

I suggested and even begged for counseling on numerous occasions. I even sought counseling for myself, since he would not go. He felt this was my issue, not our issue. Therefore, I had my work cut out for me. I was married to the only perfect person in the word. Thus, every problem we had was about my imperfections.

I purchased the post-divorce home a year before leaving. I wanted him to realize I was serious, and to have a place to go if things became too unbearable. This turned out to be the best investment I have ever made in my life. It made the transition so much easier. I didn't need to go to family or anyone for help. I had all the pieces in place to make this move with as little stress as possible for my kids.

I am thankful I took these steps before leaving. A well thought-out plan saved adding a huge amount of stress to an already stressful situation.