With No One Else to Turn To, I'm Responsible for Everything

With No One Else to Turn To, I'm Responsible for Everything

Posted to House Bloggers by Sondra Simmons on Tue, 02/10/2009 - 9:00am

I heard a woman say the other day that she’s been feeling like Superwoman since her husband’s stroke. She’s had to do all kinds of new things, like handle their bills and make small repairs around their home.

I understood where she was coming from. Trouble has a way of tossing that red cape around our shoulders and making us capable of amazing feats.

Divorcing my husband, Edgar, was probably the heaviest lifting I’ve ever done, emotionally speaking. I had to get rid of my guilt over breaking my vows, the guilt he heaped on me for the same, my fears of economic insecurity and loneliness, worries about what family, friends, and strangers would think.

And now, I’m calling on my newfound strength to handle a sort of eviction of a good friend.

Robin was strapped for cash, so I let her stay rent-free in my mostly empty house, now for sale. The plan was for her to house-sit until it sells – whenever that is.

But she’d been there only a couple of weeks when I realized that probably wasn’t a good plan. My boyfriend, Jack, who went down to Florida to ready the house for sale, expressed concern about Robin’s spaciness. Knowing he’s a worrywart, and remembering that Robin had let me crash with her when I didn’t want to stay in my own home with my drunken husband, I let his complaints slide.

That is, until he reported finding her trying to warm up on a chilly day by turning the oven up high and opening its door. He asked her why she wasn’t using the wall heater. She didn’t have a good answer; apparently she’d forgotten about the heater.

I flashed back to the years I’d spent worrying that Ed might torch the house by accident during a binge. I imagined the call from Robin about some thoughtless catastrophe. “She’s gotta go,” I said.

I’ve spent the past few days, with Jack’s help, gently prying Robin out of my house. Still strapped for cash, she is not happy about moving to a motel.

Disappoint and inconvenience a friend? How could I be so selfish?

Well, I’m throwing on the red cape and doing what needs to be done. Apparently, I’ve (finally) learned something about putting my own interests first.