A Few Of My Favorite Things To Do To Deal With The Loneliness Post-Divorce
A Few Of My Favorite Things To Do To Deal With The Loneliness Post-Divorce
I relish my newfound freedom. Don't get me wrong, I miss my old home (sometimes). I miss my dogs (every second of every day). I even miss my husband. But I don't miss the feelings that accompanied our lives these past two years.
Even though I lived with a person, two dogs, and three tenants in the same building, I was SO LONELY. It's lonely sharing a place, let alone a life, with someone when things aren't what they ought to be. I felt invisible for so long. Now, even though I am living alone, I've never felt more alive. My life is rich and full. I'm loving it.
In fact, last night, I went out to dinner with a girlfriend, and it was so spontaneous, totally last minute, and completely fun. We giggled, got frozen yogurt afterwards, and gabbed.
In any case, I've seen a few ladies were asking about things to do when we are alone... I realize some things are not financially or logistically possible for some, but here are a few of my favorites:
- Go swimming. I have been blessed with an indoor, heated swimming pool in my complex. I swim almost everyday. There is such serenity and peace in the water. I am comforted in knowing I am doing something good for my body while being alone with my thoughts.
- Shopping (window or actual). I **LOVE** shopping. Even if it's just walking up and down the aisles of the grocery store. For some strange reason, it energizes and relaxes me at the same time. Bonus points if I score a really good bargain! I like Emily's idea of going to Goodwill to find treasures for the home. I have been hitting resale shops, bargain stores, dollar stores...along with mega malls, warehouses...I was the one who moved, so I had the opportunity to fill my new home with new trinkets...for the ladies who did not move...you can still add trinkets to your home...perhaps even rearrange the furniture to change up the energy? I have also recently discovered Groupon. This can be dangerous, if not monitored closely. But what a great way to find a bargain AND try something new?
- Walking. I live near a park and there are always children, dogs, and families milling around. It's nice to grab my iPod, gym shoes, and just GO.
- Pamper yourself! As of late, I have realized how little I had been taking care of myself. So I did the not-so-fun things like visit the dentist and gyno...but I also did fun things like paint my nails, take a hot bubble bath, give myself a facial scrub, pluck my eyebrows, and floss. (Yes, I said floss.) :)
- Exercise. I joined an all-women's dance studio a few years ago, when my marital issues first began...and through the years, I have come and gone, depending on the flux of my life...but the friendships I formed have proved to be lasting. I do zumba, bellydance, strength training, yoga, and kickboxing with these ladies...along with eating, drinking, crying, laughing, shopping, and playing! I am so grateful for the studio and these ladies. If I am not at the studio or swimming...I've discovered an exercise channel on Comcast! I can workout in my living room!
- Accept invitations out. I know we're all at different stages in this process. In the very beginning of mine, all I wanted to do was hole up. I could not imagine something so strenuous as painting my toenails or working out. The thought of accepting an invitation for breakfast sent me over the edge. If you are at that stage, take heart. It too shall pass! I am accepting invites left and right...and when there aren't any...I do the inviting! A cup of coffee, a trip to the Farmer's Market, a movie...whatever!
- Try a new hobby. I just joined a wine club and I won a silent auction at an event I went to the other night...for dance lessons!
- Music. My piano is at my old home...but I have a little keyboard in my new home that works just fine. I am teaching myself how to play Adele's "Someone like you" at the moment. (Subliminal messaging in my choice?) I love playing the piano and what it does for my soul.
- Tap into your spiritual side. Church, mosque, or temple...praying... meditating... visualizing...journaling...whatever it is you do to feel connected to your Higher Power...
- Do stuff for/in your home, be it a new home or your current one. This sounds so silly, but I changed a lightbulb the other day and felt so empowered!
I hope this helps, ladies. Keep doing what we're doing... we're all moving forward, each and every one of us.
Love, Speranza
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