There's "cougar annoyed" and then there's "cougar pissed off."
Luis, the sweet manager of the building where I live, slipped a cougar lawsuit news flash under my door last night along with a note. He apparently caught my cougar opinion on Page Six of the New York Post about my not loving that term, and my search for a better word to describe a "woman who chooses to play/date/carouse/befriend a younger man."
Luis wrote, "Looks like some Southern California ladies followed your lead" and attached a story from TMZ called "The Great Cougar Hunt Lawsuit."
Obviously my "coolness" factor is on the upswing, as I was invited to the gala premiere movie screening of The Lifetime original movie Coco Chanel — hosted by Lifetime Television, Vidal Sassoon and The Hollywood Reporter Monday night.
I loved it! And highly recommend you tune in if you find your "cute divorced self" sitting on the couch this coming Saturday night.
Shirley MacLaine, who plays Coco in the later years of her life, was in person at the event, and was just fabulous. Barbara Bobulova, who played Coco as a younger woman was incredible.
We need to come up with a better word to describe a woman who chooses to play/date/carouse/befriend a younger man!
Don't misunderstand me — it's not that I am not a fan of this new sport. Seriously, if some young handsome guy thinks I'm hot and fabulous who am I to deter him?
Besides, divorced women in search of relationships often find that there are just more younger men swimming in the available love pool and in better swim trunks.
And quite frankly, the older guys who are chasing after centerfolds leave us no choice.
The word "cougar" just makes it sound like older women are pouncing on innocent young men, when truthfully we are "treating them" to the experience of wisdom and an occasional expensive dinner. Neither side in this romantic pairing initially embarks innocently and without agenda. Both find it curious.
OK — it's the dreaded last week of summer...and we all hang on to it like a dog to the pant leg of a postman. This might be a good thing since everyone I know has gained weight since it began.
What's up with that?
Bloated single moms everywhere are racing around getting their kids ready for school. Booting up for back to school is "tums"-ultuous when you're a single mom. It's a frenzy of exhausting checklists, kids need everything, and you are a human money pit.
Going away, if you can swing it or a few more rule-free days, is a good thing...staying home and puttering around is also a good thing.
There's nobody to do business with...or make an impression upon.
Nobody cares...well almost nobody.
If people owe you money, you cant get a hold of them.
If you owe people money, they're away and you buy a few days.
The mythical end of summer will confuse you next week because you pull back the curtain and it will still look and feel exactly like summer, only you are not supposed to be having fun anymore.
Certain men's colognes drive women wild. I remember the first one that intoxicated me — English Leather.
I used to put it on my pillowcase and dream about Tom, Dick Harry — whoever. They all wore it. That and Brut, and all the fathers in the world wore Old Spice.
Then as time went on I had longer term relationships and longer relationships with a specific cologne. In fact, cologne became a relationship in itself. Now every time I smell a brand that a certain man wore, it causes a rush of memories of HIM.
It's confusing for me when a new man wears an ex's smell.
Some familiar colognes make me want to slap a guy I don't even know.
Because of this I recently I had a terrible break up with Paco Rabanne.
So the question is... Can you date a guy who smells like your ex?
Inspired by the Olympics and delusional that I somehow can still get my body to look like those women's volleyball contenders, I was thinking...
There are so many things a divorced gal becomes proficient at by necessity — by herself — that there should be some way to get credit for it. Just maybe there should be some kind of Divorced Women's Olympics.
There would be global contenders.
Here are some divisions in which any one of you could take a medal:
