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Stressed By Other People's Kids
Posted to House Bloggers by Akillah Wali on Mon, 11/12/2007 - 5:15pm
I was recently the victim of bad parenting.
As I took my seat on a flight from New York's La Guardia to Milwaukee on Friday afternoon, I was warned by a set of parents seated behind me about their child's tendency of kicking the seat. They alluded to the fact that they would do what they could, but that most of the time, this only made the kid do it more.
I waived it off and thought, "OK, so the kid accidentally kicks the seat a few times — it happens."
After an incessantly long wait for take off — 45 minutes — accompanied by "Baby Beckham" assaulting the back of my chair with the mother's passive, "Ryan, no" as her only form of intervention, I snapped.
"Oh my God," I exclaimed as I turned around in a huff.
The mother simply looked at me and said, "Well, what do you want me to do?"
What did I want her to do? How about be a parent and get the kid to stop kicking my damn seat? I was livid by this time, and told her to refrain from bringing the child in public if she wasn't willing to exert more control over him.
I made a decision not to have kids, nor do I want to deal with other people's — especially when they are unwilling or unable to be effective parents. After being married to an unruly child who had two children of his own, I have no desire to deal with anyone's ill-behaved offspring.
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Kids,
All children are not the same...Here's hoping you'll have an opportunity to experience the manners of good children.. And it's alright you don't want children. Probably not the mother type..and that's okay. Not everyone has the patience to be one. Best to know who you are..
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your grandma
Parents
I have had many opportunities to experience both well and ill-behaved children. Having worked in both public and private school systems, being a member of a ridiculously large family and having friends with children of all ages, I have seen the good, bad, and ugly that comes with children. For this particular instance, I happen to blame the parents, whose apathetic, hands-off approach to dealing with their bratty child only served to exacerbate this (and probably other) situation(s). As for being "the mother type," I am this and then some. I inherited the maternal gene from my mother (my two sisters did not - as far as I can tell), to the point where I would want to be the one to stay home and provide for them (and not some stranger). Being that I have decided to focus on my career at this time, the notion of children has been benched. I know that they can be done simultaneously, but being the uber-perfectionist, dealing with both in their primary stages is a recipe for disaster.
Funny, I thought about you during that debacle - the woman seated next to me (offering me reassurance) reminded me of you. She was a mother of three and a grandmother of nine. Guess there's a grandmotherly gene as well...
-Akillah
Hear hear...
I loved this post, Akillah. I often have the same reaction to unruly children. I do not subscribe to the "seen but not heard" take on parenting, but I do believe that some parents these days have no idea what discipline means. The unfortunate outcome of letting a child get away with bad behavior is, ultimately, an arrogant and unhappy adult who has no idea why the world doesn't pander to their needs just like their parents did. (And then they get married. YIKES!)
I was brought up in a church community where the other adults weilded just as much authority as my own parents. It seems like those days of "community discipline" are disappearing and, as they do, more and more children get away with kicking the seats on an airplane.