I've learned a lot about myself over the past year. Probably more than at any other time in my life. I think this is because this is the first time in my life I've focused completely on myself and not on a relationship. I haven't been on one date since my divorce, and don't intend to date for quite some time. I have a few things I feel I need to work on before even considering a relationship again.

I want to become comfortable with being alone, and enjoying my own company. I've been involved in some form of relationship for the last 20 years. Whether it's dating before a marriage, an actual marriage, or being on the rebound. If I don't change this pattern, I feel any future relationships are headed for certain doom.

I need to raise the bar for myself and for any potential partners. It seems all of my previous relationships had a flaw right from the beginning — that one thing that we could figure out later, change later, deal with later. If it's not right from the start, I've learned I don't want to fix it. Why enter any kind of relationship that already has a few personality problems?

I want to be financially independent before adding anyone else to the mix of my kids and myself. I don't want to rely on my partner for any financial support, and he shouldn't expect any support from me. My next relationship will not involve community finances. I want separate accounts and split expenses down the middle. This will be necessary for the security of my kids.

I am sure this list will get longer as time goes by. I have no intentions of "settling" again.