In my defense, especially since my divorce, I'm busy and have made a conscious decision to focus on doing the things that make a difference.

Things like making sure my kids have clean, ironed clothes to wear. That there is food in the fridge. That their mother knows what day it is — most of the time.

That means lots of things don't get done. Long ago, I decided not only something had to give, but lots of things had to. Dinner parties don't achieve anything we need. Attending school information nights would mean doing laundry at midnight. Baking cakes would just mean more washing up to do. Gone, gone, gone.

I heard myself flippantly saying the other day that I hadn't made a cake this century. Cute joke, huh? Not really. The words just kept spinning in my mind. How could I have not made my kids a cake in seven years?

So, a magnificent chocolate cake was produced. Well, an okay cake, with really great chocolate icing. But, Martha comparisons aside, make a cake for your kids once every seven years and everyone's happy.

I hardly noticed that there was more washing up to do.