My mother's decision to swear my siblings to secrecy regarding her condition put me in the position of having to deal with the dilemma of whether I can actually trust them to tell me the truth.

I now know that having someone tell me that they're "fine" could mean anything but that. For all I know, the next time I get a report of "fine" from a family member, there might be another lying in ICU. That's a comforting thought to take into finals with you.

Just when you thought this type of disjunction only happened between unhappily married people, life reminds you that it can happen between people who love each other unconditionally.

I'd actually forgotten how it felt to deal with the fact that a loved one might not be telling you the truth — that they might even think that they're doing you a favor by concealing certain pieces of information from you. I'd also forgotten about the feelings and emotions expressed by all parties in a situation like this.

It seems that I've been operating in a binary world for so long — work/school = the absence of any real connection to human emotion — that I've forgotten the rules of engagement in for operation in this sphere.

It's funny — or not — how there's never a subtle reminder as to how to navigate through these situations. For now, I suppose I'll have to get through the end of the semester first, and deal with family after. That is, after all, what they wanted me to do.