Never in my life have there been so many attempts to get me connected — to a man, not the internet — though I would prefer immediate access to the latter. Internet access wherever I go, whenever I want? How is that not one of the coolest things ever?

Anyway, the last hook-up attempt came on my trip home to "Deliverance country" where I thought I would spend the majority of my time chasing around one of the seven children (three cousins and four nieces and nephews) that happened to invade my mother's house.

The worst offender of late was my younger sister, who upon finding out about the neighbor was smitten with me decided to "pimp me out" — no joke. She insisted I go out with him. I resisted as best I could.

She called me chicken for not wanting to go out with him. I told her it was disinterest, not fear, that kept me from going out. That and the fact that is does no good to start something with someone so geographically distant. Gotta love the common sense factor.

Her last comment was the most shocking and disgusting thing she could have said to me.

"Just go out with him, let him drop some cash on you and have a good time."

Go out and "have a good time" with someone I have no interest in — while he spends money on me? Am I just insane or does this sound like something else to you?