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Over the years, I've spoken to many women whose ex-husbands were defying court orders to pay child support. What most of them have learned when they take their ex back to court for contempt is that judges rarely throw a deadbeat in jail. They threaten to do so, but in my opinion, it isn't often that a judge will follow through on a threat.

Not enforcing a court order undermines a woman's ability to care for her children. For some reason though, a judge seems more concerned with how being jailed will negatively affect a deadbeat father. It isn't only child support orders that aren't enforced — in the Family Court System, it's any order.

In September of 2004, my former husband and I finally went back to court on the post-majority expense issue and another issue having to do with housing. My ex was ordered to pay 93% of our son's college expenses. He angered the judge by behaving arrogantly so the judge retaliated by slamming him with 93% of the expenses. However, with grants and scholarships my former husband would have only had to pay a couple of thousand dollars a year. It wasn't like the man was going to go broke helping his son with college expenses.  read more »