   
      |
The Liberation Continues
Two months in my refuge
As I look back, it's hard to believe I spent so many months living alone in the house that John and I once shared. When I was living there, I knew that I felt like my life was stuck in limbo, but now that I've moved out, the feeling of liberation is so much stronger than I imagined it would be.
My apartment really is a safe little cocoon. There are no ghostly memories lurking in the shadows, no mail arriving addressed to a man I would rather forget, and no calls from the prick to say he'll be stopping by to mow the lawn or pick up a few of his things.
I've not yet entered the dating pool, so the only people who enter my sanctuary are my girlfriends - and that's just how I want it to stay for a while. The only male worthy of hanging out in my apartment and sleeping in my bed is my cat — his love is unconditional, he doesn't talk back, and he won't betray me.
Refuges are so important
AJ,
I am so glad that you have a space of your own that you relish! I actually kept the house that my ex and I lived in, but I have removed all memories of him. I have also really enjoyed selling things (some of them expensive) that he left behind. I loved my neighborhood and had close friends that were near by that are still good friends. I still get mail of his once in a while, but I enjoy throwing it away! Even when it looks important!
The most important thing I have done is starting to redo the whole place. I have moved rooms, furniture, added decorations, created a meditation and reading space, am repainting, redid the flowers out front, etc. When people walk it, it is now obviously just my space. Interestingly enough, I love that I have worked hard to change the energy and look of the space so much so that it feels like I have lived there without him all along. And, I love it!!
I, too, have not entered the dating pool and I am only allowing friends and family to come in. I do no want a man around the place for quite a while, as right now it is mine and only mine. And thank God for it!
Many blessings,
Julia