Have you ever felt caught in whirlwind with no anchor in sight?

That's how I felt when I left my first partner. We had a child, a beautiful three-year-old girl full of charm and spirit. When the family separated, we fought long and hard over where she would live and who would be her main caregiver.

Of course, we each had our own opinion of what was best. We went to court and drained ourselves financially. We each hired vicious lawyers who loved the game of legal affairs to prove our case. We were assigned a judge who knew the game far too well and who didn't care.

We monitored conversations with each other. We kept records of phone calls and what had been said. We went to psychological testing to attempt to discount the other parent. We had our daughter tested too, in the hopes she'd affirm her choice. Mommy wanted the choice to be her and Daddy was cheering for himself.

When the money ran out, nearly a year later, we had very little to show. We had a signed agreement stamped by the courts that basically approved how we'd been arranging custody since we'd separated. Our daughter spent a week with me and a week with her father.

Fast forward two years. Dad and I got along just fine. Sure, we had some minor arguments, usually over petty things and usually fueled by the opinions of friends and family. But we did alright.

Another two years later, and my daughter decided she was tired of moving back and forth. She put her foot down and chose the house she liked best — or rather, the house that was more convenient for her needs. That suited me fine. Dad didn't care much either — he just wanted his daughter to be happy.

He now comes to visit twice a week. We're a little smarter, a little wiser. We're older and probably don't get such a rise from life any more. We have coffee and he chats with his daughter. He respects me and I respect him.

We've laughed together over our crazy, emotional antics in courts. We've expressed regret at how all we tried to do was make each other look bad. Neither of us are bad people. We were just caught in the whirlwind of emotion.

We've grinned over each other's lawyers — really, these people get off on drama.