I never get sick, but ever since New York turned into Fargo this month, I've been "dying" on and off with various versions of the flu, a sinus infection, some wacky virus, girly issues, etc., etc.

Each of these recent health episodes forced me to deal with the same awkward question on the doctor's office sign-in form: Who the hell is my emergency contact these days?

When you live with somebody, like it or not — tag — they're it! Husband, boyfriend, roommate, whoever.

But when you live alone or live alone with kids, you now have to decide who you want to "bother" if you're dying. Long nights on your couch alone in a fetal position also make you re-assess this question. Kids can only do so much and, truthfully, as long they see you're still breathing they really lose interest.

This week I had a bizarre allergic reaction to a prescription medication. No one seemed to be able to diagnose the problem, which kept worsening, till I finally landed in the emergency room yesterday morning and Dr. McFabulous figured it out and gave me the shot that I needed six days ago. WHEW!

In my lifetime I haven't whipped my clothes off for as many strangers as I did this week AND good thing this ended, too, because I was seriously running out of "matching sets."

But this blog is not about the time I spent frantically clicking on medical sites matching drug reaction symptoms, or the "almost" 911 call that I talked myself out of making for fear that I was imagining the heart attack, or the night I slept on the bathroom floor because I was so delirious from this so-called virus I couldn't stand up, or the daily trips to urgent care only to be sent home each time thinking I was nuts, or the Benedryl (gotta love it) that kept getting me beeped from behind at all the green lights.

This is about "Who You Gonna Call?" Who are you supposed to call? Who do you want to bother that doesn't have their own freaking problems when you are not feeling well? I used to call my ex or my mother, but these days I'd rather not worry her if I don't have to. I've gotten so used to "handling" everything on my own that I never give much thought to not being able to.

I don't have the final answer to Who Am I Gonna Call? ... but I did develop a new personal emergency "text tip off" broadcasting system.

Each time I found myself waiting to see some doctor, I'd text one of my close friends so that at least somebody would know where the hell I was.

The following are escalating "lite" to "amusingly alarming" excerpts from my text messages to various friends (who know who they are).

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Got the flu went down for the count been in bed since — bummer... whats up with you?

Ok Ive been vertical for almost a whole day now — and you?

Various relapses and I am sitting here on the table again .... text messaging you. Whats up?

Just checking in again from urgent care....full body rash, skin lumps, full blown sweats and my hair is sticking straight up and when they called my last name, the people across from me knew my grandfather and my father, way back but helloooo...I'm a little distracted here to be playing happy history — but the poor guy trumped me because he's here for a shot for bone cancer so who the hell am I not to be sociable? How's your day going?

In urgent care again flipping out about the red blood spots all over my body. I' m pretty sure I'll be the next scandalous measles case. Going in will be back to you...

Now I'm on the doctors table again trying to keep my sense of humor- think I'll borrow some of those plastic gloves to color my hair so I don't have to stop at the store...

So I've just taken my clothes off for the tenth stranger this week and now Im laying here on the table in the emergency room as the steroid shot I just got in my butt makes its way through my body....I should see some good results soon and so as long as I am not dying and there are no lumps on my face I should be good to go for the show tomorrow. Of course i'll have to lay off the Benedryl or someone will have to yank my head up off the table by my hair every time I have to ask a interview question...LOL Attitude is everything, you know.

***

Every single one of my friends called me to see if I was OK and if I needed anything. Guess what I found out? It's OK to bother friends if you need them once in awhile. They really are more than willing to help if you let them know you need them, but friends are not mind readers. Besides what are good friends for?

So THAT's who YOU are gonna call. Your friends. As for the one person who wins your Emergency Contact slot? Hmmm. I suggest somebody who knows who all the rest of YOUR friends are.

Onward and upward
Attitude Is Everything,
Debbie