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Maybe I’m overreacting and paranoid, but since John and I got divorced in March, I find myself feeling nervous for no real reason.
Perhaps it's because I’m still adjusting to life as a divorced woman, still facing several uncertainties in life. I no longer have that comforting feeling of being married and having a partner, knowing that each night I will go home to a man whom I love — or did love — and will wake up with him in the morning. I’m not sure, but I think it's driving me nuts.
For example, if my phone rings and I don’t recognize the number, I won't answer it. The other day, I got a notice in the mail that I have a certified letter at the post office from a name I don’t recognize. I haven’t picked it up yet.
Then I got a voice mail message on my cell phone from a bank representative who asked me to call him back. He didn’t sound like he was calling to give me a sales pitch. Even though it isn’t even the bank where John and I had our joint account, my mind immediately went to John, and I was wondering if somehow, some way the call had to do with him. I called the bank representative back, but was unable to catch him on the phone, so I still don’t know what the call was about.
And I’m sure if I really sat and thought about it I could think of other scenarios.
I guess my trust went out the window along with my faith in marriage in today’s f—ed up society. Maybe someday this feeling will go away.
Has anyone else experienced this unjustified paranoia following a divorce?
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This may sound corny, but
This may sound corny, but have you ever tried meditation or some type of yoga? For me it has been incredibly helpful for my mental clarity and quieting my mind. It is totally normal to feel anxious- as if every call or letter will be negative. But maybe it's time to deflect some of those feelings... yoga was (and still is) very helpful and centering for me.
Good luck!
CM
Maybe the paranoia is justified
I actually think being paranoid about certain things these days is healthy & good. For example, I would be paranoid with that random "bank representative"; whatever you do, and however he may try to convince you otherwise, don't give him any personal or account information. Maybe what's happening is that where you used to rely upon your husband now you're stepping up to be cautious and careful and protect yourself.
Yes, it does get better ...
For me it was a fear that a disaster would happen and I wouldn't be prepared. I slept with my snow boots and jeacket by my bed in case of fire. I had chain ladders by the windows so we could escape. I had a place for everything in my house and panicked if it was moved or put back wrong. I got better. You will too.