Maybe this is the real reason I still haven’t filed for divorce: I just don’t feel like it. It’s probably that lazy gene Jill Brooke wrote about.

For a while there I thought, feared, that Ed’s absence was making my heart grow fonder. But as I listened to myself explaining my delay to my (happily married) friend Melody, I thought: What am I, crazy?

OK, the Ed who never minded interrupting road trips to stop at outlet stores, the one who cooked dinner, the one who rescued animals in distress, he was great. And I guess I can admit missing him.

Unfortunately, he shares a body with that other damned Edgar.

The one who spent the mortgage money on a boat.

The one who didn’t quite understand the difference between a wife and a secretary.

The passed-out-on-the-floor-drunk one I rousted to go with me to the hospital when I thought I was having a heart attack. (Big mistake: I should have gone alone.)

These past few months, my estranged husband really hasn’t been any trouble. And I’d like to keep it that way. I expect, though, that filing those divorce papers will change that.

While whining to myself about how I don’t wanna do it, I had a great idea.

There should be a sunset provision for marriages.

Nolo.com defines a sunset law as one “that automatically terminates the agency or program it establishes unless it is expressly renewed.”

I propose that marriages sink below the horizon after seven years, unless the parties take action to continue them.

I mean, you have to renew your driver’s license every now and then -- less often than you must register your car or dog.

I suppose this might cost divorce attorneys some business. But maybe they could make it up in re-nups. If I were to re-enlist in marriage, I’d want the financial agreement I was too much in love to make before the vows I exchanged.

Mainly, sunsetting marriage would save me and many other irreconcilably different spouses a lot of trouble. I think I’ll write my representative.

Writing my representative would be a lot easier than filing for divorce.

And once again I’ve proved I’m a typical alcoholic, always looking for the easier, softer way.

Even if one doesn’t exist.