My life, I have learned, consists of things I can do something about and things I can't.
Sometimes it takes a while to determine which is which. It took some time for me to notice that I really was unhappily married and more time after that to start to do something about it. Many moons passed before Edgar seemed to accept the idea that I would not remain his wife.
I could have battled with him while he worked his way to this conclusion, spending thousands of dollars I didn't actually have on lawyers and forcing him to do the same. Luckily, my circumstances required me to do something different: to wait.
I've read about the sharp difference in perspective between halves of a divorcing couple. The "leaving" spouse, the one who initiates the action, usually has been contemplating the end of the marriage for some time. Often the "left" spouse is blindsided, for many reasons including denial.
Our separation, and the time it took to find the most economical way to divorce, provided a cooling-off period. During that time, I became certain that I wanted our marriage to end and Ed had a chance to get his head around the idea.
Of course, it might have turned out differently — um, happily ever after? — and that would've been okay too. But I'm glad that I had to take the time to find out when and if I should do something final about my marriage.
Marry in haste, repent at leisure? I suspect that's true of divorce as well.