"Why is it," my mother asked, "that you can get married for $10 or $15 but it costs so much more to get un-married?"

"Because they know how badly you want it," I replied, and we shared a laugh.

Apparently, I want out of my dead marriage badly enough to actually do something about it. Nothing momentous, but this is where momentous begins. I marched myself up to the Self-Help Center at a civil courthouse and secured the packet of forms I need for my simple Florida divorce from Edgar. 

"Simple" being a term of art, of course.

The packet cost $65. Filing for dissolution will be another $409. In this county it actually costs $93.50 for a marriage license, a mere $61 if you complete the premarital preparation course.

I think that's a good investment. I've often wondered if premarital counseling would have prevented the train wreck that my marriage to Ed became.

Anyway, a clerk asked a couple of questions ("Do you have children with him? Do you own property with him?") and ultimately gave me what I asked for, a manila envelope containing 18 printed sheets. I actually only have to do something with 11 of them; the rest are instructions and receipts.

Unfortunately, one of the tasks I must complete is getting my husband served. I know where he works and could deliver his papers by hand myself, but it seems I still have to have his new address.

So far he's declined to give it to me.

Once I get that straightened out, it looks like I'll have to go to the courthouse twice more: once to go over the documents at the Self-Help Center and have them stamped by the clerk, and once for a Final Hearing.

The forms say they'll mail me notice of that date "in about four to eight weeks."

Okay, I've got the papers. However, I've already headed off to see my parents for a week. So I won't be filing anything until I return.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.