Sometimes, it’s a good thing when the other shoe drops. It became clear early in my seven-year marriage to Edgar that he is an alcoholic. I might have noticed before the vows were said, had I not been so happy to have found the ultimate drinking buddy.

But after I stopped counting the number of times he went to detox and to rehab, after I stopped hiding his car keys and calling the cops when he found them, after I finally realized he wasn’t the only alcoholic in the house and sobered up, I noticed that I was not happily married.

I should have been. Ed is bright and funny and professionally accomplished.

He was far more likely to cook and clean than I was, and as far as I knew was faithful -- except for those lost weekends, and weeks, with the bottle.

But I did realized that I couldn't trust my husband, who had sworn that he never lied to me about anything important.

In addition, we had uncomfortably different ideas about money, and about the state of our marriage.

But Ed had put the plug in the jug, as recovering alcoholics say. So I tried to be satisfied.

I told him that if he went back to drinking he’d have to find someplace else to live.

Professionals had told him that if he resumed drinking he wouldn’t live very long.

I was glad he was accumulating sober time, though bizarrely, I knew that, if he started drinking again, my decision about the marriage would be much easier to make.

On the other hand, I couldn't wish active alcoholism on anybody, especially not the only guy I ever married.

Then I was gone for a week to visit my elderly parents.

Ed and I talked every day, and I looked forward to getting home. He knew when and where my flight was arriving, but wasn’t there to meet me.

And he didn’t answer his cell phone the first couple of times I called. When he did pick up the phone, he had trouble explaining what was going on.

When he finally showed up, it was clear.

I got in the car and was about to greet him when the smell of rum and nervous sweat hit my nose.

“You’re drinking,” I said.

He had made his choice -– and therefore he had made mine as well.