I got a letter in the mail last Friday from an unknown sender. There was one of those official-looking stamps peeking through the window in the envelope, and those tend to strike fear into my heart. (I have been known to take my student loan payments a little less seriously than I should.)

Anyway, after looking around for the nearest stiff drink and realizing that since I'm pregnant I could be tripping over Maker's Mark and it wouldn't do me a damn bit of good, I opened the letter. It was from the city. About my divorce.

Did I not mention I'd filed for divorce? Well, apparently I did.

A long time ago — like, years ago — I went to see a paralegal and paid her half her fee. Then I, uh, forgot. Apparently she actually started proceedings. Unlike me, the city did not forget.

They were writing to tell me that if I didn't complete proceedings within 60 days, they would assume my husband and I had reconciled and would cancel the filing.

Many people have a divorce filed behind their back and are surprised when they receive papers in the mail. But what kind of person is surprised by their own papers? How disorganized do you have to be to forget you filed for divorce?

I will probably get off my ass and pay this woman her $400 and soon enough I will be divorced. Then maybe I'll actually marry my partner of four years, the father of most of my children. Maybe not. Tough to say.

In the meantime, I will sit back and rub the official stamp between my fingers, amazed at my own ineptitude.

Since finally deciding to get divorced, I started the process immediately. When it comes to my personal life, I’m not exactly known for my follow-through. But I saw a paralegal on Wednesday.

I don’t know what the rules are in other countries, but in Canada it’s pretty easy to get divorced when both parties are willing. It’s probably going to cost me $800, which makes me feel pretty dumb for waiting so long. Basically, I handed the woman a check for half the cost and I’m on my way to getting divorced.

The weirdest part about the whole thing was getting ready to serve papers. I’ve always thought that when you have papers served on you, it’s a very bad thing. It was really strange calling my ex and letting him know that I was about to do that to him.

I thought the conversation was going to be awkward but in the end, he just asked if he needed to do anything. We figured out that it would be easier for him to come over to my house and confirm that he received the papers than to make sure he was home for when the person came. (Who is that person, by the way? A paper server? A courier?)

All in all, it was pretty anticlimactic. I thought I would feel something — anything. If I felt anything at all, it was feeling like an ass for waiting so long.

So I’m finally going to get divorced. I’ve decided. It’s for real this time. And what led me to this decision, you ask?

I need a passport. My career has finally started to take off, and I’ve been invited to a few conferences in the U.S. I live in Canada, and the rules are changing about the identification you need to cross the border. I used to be able to get away with just my birth certificate, but now they want a passport.

The trouble is, I’ve already changed my name to my new husband’s. My health card, my bank card, my credit cards all use my new name. If I get a passport, they’ll have to use my old name, which belongs to my soon-to-be ex-husband.

This is obviously not acceptable, so I’m getting divorced.

Like I said in last week’s post, my future mother-in-law is starting to get nervous. She’s looking to see her first-born son get married, and I can hardly blame her. All this living in sin and making bastard babies must be stressful on her.

There might be more stupid reasons to get divorced, but if there are, I haven’t heard of them.

In Canada, except for in the most extenuating circumstances, child support amounts are determined by pre-existing tables based on the number of children and the income of the non-custodial parent. No consideration is given to the income of the custodial parent, which always made me uncomfortable.

I made a lot more than my husband did, and I felt weird taking his money. That didn't mean I wasn't going to get all up in arms when his $117 came on a Thursday instead of a Wednesday.

I know in many other countries, child support amounts are determined by the mood of the judge on the day the decision was made. Maybe we feel cheated. Maybe we feel entitled. Quite possibly, we feel powerless. Probably, we don't like being reminded that in some way, we are dependent on this man until our children turn eighteen.

Child support is such an ugly business. It turns the raising of a child into a mercenary matter and not a family one. It's necessary but it's tragic, and for now, it's the only system we have.

How are child support payments determined where you live? Do you think it's an equitable system, or do you think it's weighted in the favor of one party over another? Tell me what you think.