We were on our third date when S put down his knife and fork, looked at me seriously and told me there was something we had to discuss.

Uh oh. This doesn't sound promising.

Tentatively he asked: "How do you feel about ski lodges?"

Ski lodges? Well, I'm not a skier — no mountains in the Midwest where I grew up — but what's not to like about ski lodges? I like fires, cozy chairs to curl up in and read books, drink hot rum toddies. So sure, I told him. I like them.

Visibly relieved, he went back to his dinner.

Two months into our relationship, he asked me what I thought about sailing. Again, not something I had much experience with. Blue skies, bluer waters, warm breezes, fancy drinks with little umbrellas in them; again, what‘s not to like? So yes, I told him, I like sailing.

He smiled. "Would you and the girls like to join me for a week sailing in the British Virgin Isles next spring?"

Oh dear Lord, I think I love this man.

In my 15 years of marriage, we didn't travel much. Starting our own business and having kids one-two-three were contributing factors, but the reality was that Ex didn't like going outside his comfort level.

He liked to eat the same meals at the same restaurants, go to the same resorts. The one time we went to Japan on a business junket, he wouldn't even venture out of the hotel during free time. So visiting my folks in South Carolina was about the extent of our vacation experiences, where Ex would immediately set up a temporary office so he could work.

Soon I knew all the FedEx locations and business services offices near my parents' home. I recall one particularly poignant drive down. Ex was barking endless orders to his office on the phone, my oldest was listening to French tapes, the middle one deep in a book, the youngest in headphones singing along to the Spice Girls ("Tell me what you want, what you really really want"). Here I was, in a car with my family a captive audience, yet completely and totally alone.

What a difference a date makes.

Traveling with S with and without our kids has been an eye opening experience. He turns his cell phone off. He doesn't even have a BlackBerry. Never checks email. At night, after skiing or sailing, we would sit with the kids as a family and play cards or charades. Imagine that.

Seems this is what I want, what I really really want.