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Teaching The Kids How Not To Act

Posted to House Bloggers by Megan Thomas on Sat, 05/31/2008 - 10:00am
I'm afraid I'm teaching my kids some bad things. I'm afraid if my husband and I stay together and keep living the way we're living they will think it's OK to be in a lukewarm relationship. I'm afraid my daughter is going to think that parents who show a lot of overt affection are weird. This breaks my heart.

My parents were always very affectionate when I was growing up. It was almost embarrassing how much they hugged and smooched each other, but there was something cool about it because it was obvious that they really loved each other and enjoyed being around one another.

My husband and I used to be pretty affectionate — after all, that's what I grew up with so it seemed natural — but the worse the issues in our marriage became, the less affectionate we became. You would be hard pressed to see us holding hands or embracing each other for longer than a standard, "Hi, welcome home from work" hug. We're so distant from each other that showing affection seems weird. Sometimes, I just don't want him to touch me.

What is this conveying to my kids? I know people say that a separation would damage my kids, but what potential damage are we doing by staying together?

We don't scream at each other, but we don't portray a married couple who necessarily enjoys being around each other. I don't want my kids to get the impression that this is what a marriage is supposed to be like. I know that the example my husband and I set right now will have a lasting impression on our kids forever. I'm really trying to not screw this all up.

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