In a conservative town in Nebraska, Sara learned many lessons from her relationship and her divorce. "Trust your gut,” she says. “When you become a mom you have to do what’s best for your kid.”

Some people think you should put your husband first, she says, “but if you’re in a family situation that will negatively impact your kid, you have to take care of them. You’re responsible and at some point your motherly instincts kick in and you have to what needs to be done.”

You also, of course, have to take care of yourself. If she had stayed with the marriage, she says, “I would be the mother to two people instead of just one. He would be very happy. I would work outside the home” — in the Air Force — “take care of the domestic duties and bills, and he would be free to do what he wanted to. I could have dealt with the situation, but I wouldn’t be happy."

On the other hand, being on your own, she says, can be tough. “Dating sucks with a child,” she says.

And then there is the regret: “You always worry that you could have done something to make it work... could I have done this or that, tried harder... any number of things. You’re going to second guess yourself. So know that that will happen, and it will be hard and trying, especially if you work, because you don’t get a break.”

Eventually, she says, it pays off.

The secret to making it through a divorce in the Midwest is to find a good support system. In her case, that was not her home church, which shunned her, even though she was a children's ministry leader there.

She felt the church thought she was a bad example to the kids. "I was asked to take a break from any church ministry. It was like, 'You are divorced so now you should rethink things.' "

She found a new church with a more liberal mindset and credits the congregation with helping her through the rough time.

"There are divorced and separated people there as well as single parents,” she says. “There’s no stigma of everyone being married and you’re divorced and you’re the odd man out.”

And finding single parents was a godsend. “Because they know what you’re going through, which makes it easier. That way you can hang out and get adult interaction."

She also stresses the importance of loving yourself while going through divorce.

"It’s hard, and time-consuming as well as emotional. It causes you to rethink love,” she says.

“You look at a situation and you’re like, 'I stood before a church and God and vowed to love and honor this man until I die and I didn’t.' So there is a lot of beating yourself up.”

“You wonder how you can go from loving someone that much to the anger and hurt — not hatred — but just anger from everything. You have to love yourself."

In the Midwest, the common assumption is that the court system favors mothers in custody issues. Sara says that was true in her case.

"It’s the Midwest,” she says.

Divorcing parents in Nebraska must attend classes and create a parenting plan as a part of the divorce. Sara tries her best to co-parent their 3-year-old daughter, Rhyanne, with her ex-husband, despite his reluctance.

"As far as Rhyanne is concerned her father is the most wonderful man in the world.

“I think he’s amazing, he’s great and we don’t argue in front of her.”

To her that’s one of the most important things about co-parenting. “Don’t bad mouth the other parent. Right or wrong that is the child’s parent. I can’t stress that enough."

As for support systems, she says, it’s important not only to find a good one, but to find a non-judgmental one. And to find a place that’s comfortable for you and your child.

Sara and Rhyanne will soon move from the Midwest to New Mexico where she will continue her Air Force career at another base.

She is excited about the move and continues to prove to her daughter that single mothers — no matter how young — can be capable, strong women.