This is the question I face. My second ex, the one I'm trying to continue to have a relationship with despite not living in the same household, announced bad news recently. His doctor told him that he's teetering on the brink of cirrhosis of the liver. It's almost shot, just hanging on by a thread.

It wasn't really surprising news for either of us. My ex has struggled with alcohol for many years. His whole family has. Out of 13 children, only two aren't heavy drinkers.

He's one of those functional alcoholics. Admittedly caught in the cycle of needing drink and hating it, he manages to hold down a good job, bring in a steady income, and be relatively normal most of the time.

Sometimes he binges. Mostly he just tries to keep his drinking to something passably acceptable — and doesn't seem to quite make it.

If he keeps it up, he'll die.

I couldn't help but think to myself how stupid we all can be, fighting over petty things that don't matter and battering each other emotionally because of unfulfilled needs and misunderstandings. Personalities clash, arguments happen, and they're punctuated with the poignant irony of two people who still love each other.

We just can't get along. How silly is that?

I want to say that some big miracle happened, that my ex foreswore all alcohol and turned a new leaf so we could focus on what truly matters, but things like that only happen in the movies. There was no huge revelation or monumental change.

So I find myself wondering, what now? I guess everything stays the same and we all try to continue living with the monkeys on our back, each in our own way.