Hello First Wives World community! I'm a relative newcomer to the blog but no stranger to the experience of divorce. I've been divorced for four years...was married for five. And at 31, I'm a non-traditional college student attending school in New York City and working toward my B.A. in Sociology. I'm going all out-going to school full-time-to complete my degree.
My story has a lot of twists and turns and bumps, and I'm sure that's like a lot of women's stories. I guess you'll discover all the bumps and detours here on the blog. I was raised in Gainesville, Florida, but born in Cincinnati where I lived for the first six years of my life. My roots are distinctly southern and Florida is my home; I am a hillbilly! I was raised almost exclusively by my mother who also juggled my four siblings; my father wasn't a contributing factor in my development. When I was 14, my parents finally divorced, a long overdue move by that point.
I left home four years later to start my life and tried the college route. Three semesters later, the attempt proved to be a bit premature. So shortly after leaving Florida State University at 19, I enlisted in the U.S. Army, where among other experiences, I met and married my husband at 22.
Without going into too many details about our split, I will say that if ever two people did NOT match up, this was IT! I wasn't who he wanted, though he tried in a very warped way to make me into that person, chipping away at who I had already become by this point and leaving a very brittle exterior.
And he, in turn, wasn't who I needed. I had a feeling that this might have been the case even before I married him, yet I ignored my gut feelings (and other people's warnings), and married him anyway. I was sure that I knew better than all of my naysayers and was convinced that I could "change him" and that we would, in fact, make the "happily-ever-after" vision a reality. That proved not to be the case, and our divorce became final in late March of 2003.
I'm looking forward to sharing more with you...
What Others Have Shared ()
Welcome
Welcome to FWW...Jeanne
Wow...
How many of us have been through the same thing. Why do we always think we can change people into what we want? We all know it doesn't work and yet we all try and do it at some point or another.
Hello..
I just wanted to say a big Hello...and Welcome...look forward to hearing more.
Faith
Hey Y'all
I feel like I've been away from the fam for a while, but Im back. Just a mini vacay...Anyway, welcome girl. And ladies always remember to be yourself...a man's going to love you for you. But most importantly, you're gonna love you for you.
B--U!!
It's true that people don't
It's true that people don't change- we just choose not to see the parts of them (and us) that we don't like. We've all been there in some way before.
I look forward to reading your blog. Welcome!
-CM
Nice name Akillah
It happens so often that you lose yourself in relationships, or at least you lose your identity. It's only natural for you to want to give yourself to someone you're in love with. But it's a mistake to not retain your identity, and fight to retain it. I did exactly the same thing, and realize now I should have kept myself, and retained my own social network, rather than let go of it all...