I have to admit, you have been a hard year to live through. I have felt more pain in your 365 days than I have in all other years combined! (Except, perhaps, for 1990… my freshman year in High school.) Although I grew a lot over the past 12 months and have many things to thank you for, I am quite happy to say goodbye to you. In these final days, I hope you don’t mind if I say goodbye to all the things I hope to leave behind as you draw to a close and a young and hopeful 2009 takes your place.

Goodbye profound sadness! I have felt you seeping away little by little as visions of the future start to overlay snapshots of my final days with Ahmed. You have been a noble yet predatory emotion. You pounced on me in the strangest places: in movie theatres and subway cars, in the shower, in the mirror, and in the bed right before I fell asleep. You always seemed to catch me off guard, but I don’t resent you. You are a measure of how much I have loved and how much I will miss certain aspects of my marriage. Your painful grip on my heart has reminded me that I am alive. Still, I am not sorry to see you go… you are meant to be vivid and brief. I hope we will not meet again for a good long time…

Goodbye uncertainty! I have chosen my path now! There is no need to linger any longer. You have been dismissed. I won’t miss you and, although I am sure you will continue to pop up intermittently in the coming years, I doubt you will have such an impact on my other endeavors. You may take your two-headed loud-mouthed cacophony elsewhere. I can’t hear you now.

Goodbye exhaustion! With sadness and uncertainty hanging out so much, you were bound to make an extended appearance. Can I be frank and just say that I don’t like you? I don’t like being tired and run down. I have fought you every step of the way. You were a formidable adversary mid-2008, but I joined forces with diet, exercise, and solitude and managed to win back some of my energy. I feel confident that Spring 2009 will see your sound defeat. Don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

So, 2008, I leave profound sadness, uncertainty, and exhaustion scattered throughout your days as you become The Past.

Before you go, I would like to thank you. You were tough, but I grew in you. I learned that I can weather all kinds of storms. I learned that my friends are incredibly generous. I learned that I have the power to redesign my life: to let go of the things that don’t work and to reorder the things that do work, not only for my own happiness, but also for the happiness of others. I learned that, for me, love does not die with divorce… it grows stronger as long as I am true to myself and encourage Ahmed the room to do the same.

I’m sure I’ll see you in pictures and the recesses of memory.

Thank you and goodbye.