I'm nearing my mid-thirties and have been married for four years to a smart, kind man who was once a great lover and more, but who rapidly devolved into only a very good friend with whom I play house (one cat, no children).

These days we eat, clean, and organize our daily lives together nicely, but we have no sex, no plans to have children, and we avoid spending time with each other's families.

I'm painfully bored, depressed, and feel helpless to effect change. I wonder: Should I stay or should I go? It is far from obvious to me. I have nothing dramatic of which to accuse Rob, nor him of me-no cheating, no abuse, no significant neglect.

There are no grounds on which I could stomp out feeling assured I'm doing the right thing. We're just a bored couple who probably jumped too quickly into marriage.

Given the lack of clear-cut problems or safety concerns, you might say that I'd be crazy to leave a well-meaning husband. That I should stay put and be thankful for what I've got. That I should work harder. But one woman's Prince Charming is another's Mr. Wrong. Right?

As I contemplate leaving, I wonder how long must I pursue a salvage operation before I can justifiably call it quits. Would I be better to get the heck out now and get on with the rest of my life? Until I can decide a course of action, I am stuck here, unhappily married.