Now that I’ve started divorce proceedings, my partner and I have decided to start talking about getting married. It’s funny -- since I’ve been married before, people seem to think that I’m an expert on weddings. Nothing could be further from the truth.

When my ex and I got married, we did so on nine days notice. We were married at the courthouse by a lovely man named Parson Carson. I wore a white prom dress — thankfully not my prom dress, just one that was originally designed for that occasion. When we got engaged, we left a message for our best man, letting him know his services would be required. He didn’t actually get the message until 4 a.m. the morning of the wedding. Let’s just say we didn’t have much in the way of a rehearsal dinner.

So now we really don’t know what to do. My future mother-in-law seems to think that I either want a huge wedding because I didn’t have one the first time, or that it would be inappropriate to have a huge wedding since I’ve been married before. My friends are suggesting Vegas, Niagara Falls, the courthouse again. I refuse to be married twice in the same courthouse. In my city, we actually have a psychiatric hospital with a beautiful chapel — people have suggested we get married there.

The worst thing is, everyone is telling me I should have the wedding that I want. I just don’t know what I want, and I don’t know what to tell them. Maybe Vegas isn’t such a bad idea.