I was reading a really charming news bite today — note my tongue planted firmly in my cheek — saying that the rapper Snoop Dogg has decided that he's not going to divorce his wife after all. He filed for divorce in 2004 and has decided it's time to come home.

Isn't that nice? He's coming home to play Daddy again. Why is he doing this? I know you're dying to know. He started off well, indicating that he'd gotten caught up in Hollywood and women and the whole associated lifestyle. He said he realized what he had at home was irreplaceable. Sweet, huh?

Um, no. He went on to say, "I just don't want another man raising my kids. That was the main goal." For the benefit of the folks at home, I'll repeat that. "The main goal". What? Maybe he thinks that sounds responsible, like he wants to be the one to raise them and groom them and teach them how to be respectable tax-paying members of society. What it says to me is that he doesn't want anyone else to get the credit for raising the Snooplets.

Let's be honest. I have a Google News Alert on my name, and I'm guessing Mrs. Snoop has the same thing, both for herself and for her adoring husband. Google lasts forever, people. Watch what you say in print.

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