A custody agreement was reached yesterday allowing Britney Spears to have gradually increased visitation rights with her two sons, while her ex-husband, Kevin Federline, will retain physical custody.

The agreement, if approved by the court, will avert a custody trial that was due to start next month, and that would, no doubt, have revealed more unflattering things about Spears’s behavior over the last year.

Under the agreement, Federline would get increased child support from Spears, reported to be another $5,000 a month, to make it $20,000 a month, and she agreed to pay his $250,000 in lawyers’ fees.

Right now Spears is allowed to see her sons twice a week, under supervision, and to have one overnight a week with 2-year-old Preston and 1-year-old Jayden.

If all goes according to plan (and when, with Spears, has anything gone according to plan?) she will, by the end of the year, be given an additional night a week with them.

Here’s hoping she defeats her demons and has the chance to show the world that she can be a good parent.

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Can a guy cheat on his wife and be involved in Internet porn and still be a good father? This question is being debated not only in the divorce trial between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook but in kitchens and cafes and around water coolers across the country.

Some of my guy friends have argued that they know plenty of men who are great fathers but have cheated on their wives. And a few have also said that they have watched porn – though not $3,000-worth a month – as though the amount dissolves any sleaziness.

And do you know what I say to them? “How do you define a great father? Sure, a guy can be loving, generous, play baseball or Barbie doll games with their kids and even dote on them and do homework. But they are also the moral template of their children's behavior. If a kid sees that a parent can betray the family, what makes you think that deep down the child will not have trust issues with either men or relationships?”

This usually shuts them up.

Children of divorce are forced early on to compartmentalize their emotions. To manage the trauma of divorce, especially when it was a result of an affair, they have to attach themselves to what they like about the parent and accept that there will be qualities they do not. It is a painful juggling act.

Although Christie Brinkley is fighting for full custody of Sailor, the 10-year-old daughter she had with Peter Cook, and Jack Paris, her 13-year-old son whom Cook adopted, it is highly unlikely that Cook will not have some access to his children.

Many women I have counseled as a stepfamily coach have questioned how their kids could want to see their father after he caused the family so much agony. “Shouldn't he be punished?” they cry. “He shouldn't be allowed to be with our children.”

Naturally Cook's lawyer, Norman Sheresky, is arguing that Brinkley's court case is motivated by revenge and not by the best interest of the children.

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It really isn't a surprise that architect Peter Cook was seen having a manicure. His claws were being sharpened for his divorce trial with model Christie Brinkley. Mr. Cook, who was the architect of his marriage's demise by having an affair with an 18 year old, apparently didn't fully realize how much he would lose, especially custody rights, as a result of his wandering weenie. Life with Brinkley included beautiful children, beautiful homes, a glamorous social life, boats, first-class plane rides and the access his wife's success provided.

And then poof, it was all gone when she threw him out. And naturally, he missed it.

Having been married three times before marrying Peter Cook, Christie Brinkley obviously insisted on a pre-nup. Like many well-heeled people, she thought her lawyers had written a solid agreement.

She married a Frenchman in the 70s and divorced him in 1981. With musician Billy Joel, the divorce was dissolved amicably and both maintained their own incomes and self-respect. Then came developer Rick Taubman, whom she reportedly paid $1 million for freedom and sole custody of their son, Jack Paris, now 13. Having been financially burned by her relationship with Taubman, Brinkley understandably was insistent that the pre-nup with Cook would be ironclad.

“Unfortunately the word ironclad is a bit of a myth,” says divorce lawyer Clifford M. Solomon, partner of Solomon Tanenbaum in Westchester. “Anyone can challenge a pre-nup. And it has worked in some cases. Someone will challenge that the person didn't reveal income or assets in the pre-nup and then the agreement is revisited to their advantage.”

Often the wealthier of the two sparring spouses will throw in some extra money or property beyond the pre-nup to just make the case go away. After all, a court trial is as ugly as Christie Brinkley is beautiful.
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Researchers are examining same-sex relationship dynamics to see how to improve heterosexual couples' success rates, reports The New York Times. The differences? Heterosexual women are delegated not only housework, but relationship work — and they're tired of carrying the responsibility for two. Additionally, heterosexual couples tend to become more physically agitated — elevated heartbeat and adrenaline surges — than their same-sex counterparts. The answer? Perspective. To find a little, click here.

Lavalife Prime, an online dating site for singles 40+, shows that post-divorce daters are more laidback. "Unlike younger daters who are searching for that special someone, older daters aren't looking for a partner to make them complete. Of the prime daters on Lavalife, only 14 percent listed getting married or moving in together as a goal," a Lavalife spokesperson told Vaughn Today. For those (fearfully or reluctantly) reentering the singles scene, it's reassuring to know online dating is not synonymous with "desperate."

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Being denied access to your own phone and television might constitute grounds for a lawsuit for some. But when Florida resident Donna Campbell discovered that her husband had done so in order to keep an even bigger offense under wraps — he and 16 other coworkers won the lottery, and he had no intention of sharing — she knew it was time for divorce court.

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The European Economic Union has instituted a temporary measure to limit "divorce shopping," where spouses "battle for the most favorable settlement in different EU courts," explains The Earth Times — most of which involves the speed of processing. Sweden finalizes in six months, while Ireland requires a four-year separation period. Up until 2006, neither party was required to even set foot in Guam to legally split. (Now one party must spend a whopping seven days in the tropical country.)

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A new sleep study reports that women in unhappy marriages suffer from more sleep problems than those in happy unions, and sleep problems, in turn, lead to other health issues. This is the first study to track marital satisfaction and sleep. Unfortunately, divorced women are prone to sleep issues, as well. Not getting the most out of your eight hours? Check out a directory sleep clinics.

As a handful of states legalize same-sex marriage, gay couples will inevitably marry in one state and reside in another. Divorce is another inevitable. The Wall Street Journal June 10, 2008 asks: When the state of residence doesn't recognize a couple's union in the first place, how can the couple dissolve it? Bring the issue of child custody into the mix, and you've got a mess: contradictory state rulings, questionable parental rights, two people who both want to be "Dad" — or "Mom." Such is the case for Lisa Miller (right) and Janet Jenkins, as The New York Times recently reported on their battle for six-year-old Isabella.

UK web site Holy Moly has reported that Madonna met with divorce lawyer Nicholas Mostyn, Queen's Counsel. Not ringing a bell? Mostyn, nicknamed Mr. Payout, most recently assisted Paul McCartney retain the majority of his savings from Heather Mills' grip. If it's all true, Mostyn might have a bigger battle on his hands this time around: Apparently, Madonna and Guy Ritchie do not have a prenup. Could prove to be a groundbreaking case for manimony.

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