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Watch Out! Libido On The Loose!
For the last year or so, I have noticed a dramatic increase in my "appetite," if you will. For some reason unbeknown to me, my sex drive has been in the fast lane — to a degree that makes it difficult to focus, making for rather lethargic production time.
This affliction had been plaguing me for many months before I finally spoke up to my friend Jenn about my situation. I was relieved to find out that she too was dealing with this issue, and had been dealing with "it" for just about as long as I had. We shared horror stories of being in class and not being able to pay attention due to our minds being plagued by thoughts of debauchery involving — whoever.
No one was safe in these situations, and everyone was fodder for our tainted imaginations: professors, students, administrators, that hot barista, random strangers, you name it. Think of a person or a position (pun intended) and there is a good chance that one of us had at one time employed either or.
We were animatedly sharing horror stories and comparing notes; "Have you thought about so-and so?" "Yeah, well this one time in the elevator at Hamilton, this thought occurred to me." "You too?" "Holy shit man, what the hell is this?"
Mrs. Robinson
I thought it had to do with getting older. Maybe not, but since by late 30's (I'm 46 now), my libido has increased many fold. It's a problem in a couple of ways. First, I am finding it very, very difficult to say no to men I meet and am attracted to. I'm jumping in the sack way too early, but I can't help myself! They get me so turned on so quick, I feel like an animal. (This must be what an 18 year old boy feels like.)
Men love that I am so interested in getting physical and that it's so easy to satisfy me (again and again). That's a good thing, I guess. But it freaks some of them out. I've been asked not to come onto a man as much and told that every time I approach one man he worries that he'll be expected to perform. Sometimes mendon't want to see me due to the same issue.
I've learned to tone down the come-ons, but still have the problem of getting intimate too soon after meeting someone. Any ideas besides just "don't do it"?
Koo-koo-ca-choo...
I wish I could tell you "don't do it" but it's not that easy for a multitude of reasons:
1. My libido is jealous of yours.
2. It doesn't matter what I say, you as a grown-ass woman will do what you want.
3. Only you will know when enough is enough. Eventually you will get to the point where the "walk of shame" really does get to you.
4. As long as you aren't saying yes to men you're not attracted to, I am having a hard time figuring out what the problem is. If no one is getting hurt (yourself included), what's the problem?
Some of those men also sound like they have problems with strong women who know what they want - that is their issue, not yours. Honestly, I say if you are having fun, just be safe. If you're not having fun, stop the party bus and get off.
I have a feeling that if you meet a guy that you could feasibly see yourself having a relationship with (if that is in fact what you want), you would have no problem putting on the brakes.
I don't know if any of this helped, but I felt I had to try...
GOOD LUCK, and keep me posted!!
Cheers,
Akillah
Good points
Hi again,
You made some good points and there were other things I didn't understand. What do you mean by "walk of shame"? I'm not ashamed or feeling guilty about any of this. My deal is that I end up getting hurt. The feelings kick in - and strong. It just goes with the territory.
You know what? I think you are absolutely right about meeting the right guy. I have held off a few times when I've really liked someone and not wanted to mess things up. In fact, I'm getting to know a sweet guy (over the telephone so far) and i can't imagine jumping in the sack with him right away.
Mrs. Robinson
Great
Mrs. R.,
I am glad that some of what I said made sense to you.
Okay, forget the walk of shame - it obviously doesn't apply here. Good for you for not feeling ashamed or guilty - too many people get caught up in remorse/shame/guilt. I am glad to see that you do not (I think that also comes with maturity).
Unfortunately, the other side of the "libido gone wild" syndrome is that there is a greater propensity to get hurt, as women form emotional bonds to men through sex. If I could figure out a way around that, I would probably put myself out there more often.
Let me know if ever you need a sounding board - you know where I am.
I wish you the best of luck with this new endeavor - I am pulling for you!!
Akillah
I'm glad someone's feeling frisky!
My libido has taken an extended vacation and I keep wondering what's going to spark it up again. *sigh*
Then again, I guess I'm too busy to get busy these days anyway.
Sarah
Yeah But...
Those frisky feelings generally don't have an outlet. Not my idea of a great scenario. AND, right now I have unwillingly surrendered control of the timings of these flashes of hotness.
My libido had been on sabbatical for about three weeks when a disagreement sparked it back up. One minute I am voicing my opinion in rebuttal to a rather lame argument only to have my thought process interrupted by primal urges to jump over the desk and into the lap of this unsuspecting victim. Talk about weird, inconvenient and HIGHLY irrational. Seriously, I could have done with a few more weeks of peace and lucidity.
The way this goes, you will be at work in the middle of a presentation when the surge returns. Make sure you a have a surge protector so you don't lose any data - I sure could have used one today!