Women who have been drinking seem to enjoy the sport of picking out men in the room, that I guess they fancy, suggesting to me that's "he's cute" and that I should pursue him.

Men who have been drinking take a more philosophical approach. They don't focus on individual males in the room but seem to talk conceptually about men in general and the endless benefits to a woman — by which they mean me — of "getting" one.

I dislike both approaches equally. Recently, one of the men pointed out by a woman seemed to me to be roughly half my age. I asked her if his likely interest in me would be based on his Mum being out of town and needing dinner cooked for him. I explained that I already have children to cook for and left it at that.

Men's appeals to me about the merits of men in my life seem always to suggest that as men, they understood how all the women they've ever been involved with have been better off for the experience. One needn't be fussy, just grab any man and be better off, too.

Usually, these matchmakers and philosophers are married, surprisingly often to each other.

While it would be nice to think that their concern for me is genuine, and sometimes it is, these encounters tend to have a sleaziness about them — fuelled by alcohol — that suggest these are men and women describing their own fantasies.

I wish them well. But their fantasies are not my own.