The week may have started well, but it sure didn't end that way.

Life is full of ups and downs. Once again, I am finding myself in the latter half of that equation. Seems that I am still supposed to struggle for a bit longer. I can't help but think: What lesson have I not learned yet? I mean, really?

Humility? Check.

Perseverance? Check.

Appreciation? Check.

The value of hard work? Check.

Rejection? Check, check CHECK!

Over the course of the last week, I was thrown so many curve balls that it's no wonder that I am dreading the start of another week. By Friday, I had all but thrown in the towel, and had to call for reinforcements. They did all they could for me, but my battle scars are taking a bit longer to heal these days.

I have been told — numerous times — that I am an intelligent, capable woman, and that I will do a great many things. Most of the time, I believe this. I guess inherently, I always believe this. But at this time of extreme irrational thought, I find myself quickly losing sight of this, while simultaneously spiraling deeper and deeper into a state of cataclysmic despair.

Not all of my days are spent like this. Unfortunately for me, the days that I do feel this way are becoming all the more frequent.

I'm tired of coping, of just barely holding on. I don't know how to do it, or where it's going to come from, but I need to figure out how to change things — FAST!