Wanda Woodard's picture

Keep The Ring!

Posted to House Bloggers by Wanda Woodard on Sun, 04/27/2008 - 4:00pm
I did a really stupid thing — I threw my wedding ring in the trash. I was mad. I was angry, and I never wanted to see the damned thing again. Of course when I ended up at the Department of Human Services filling out papers for food stamps, I was mentally cursing myself. 

Keep the ring! Wear it, don't wear it. But for God's sake, keep the ring! Sell it, have it made into a necklace.

Was your ring important to you? What does a wedding ring mean? You belong to someone? Wait, that would make it more like a dog collar and a rabies license wouldn't it? If lost, please return to Mr. so-and-so at such-and-such address.

Okay, now I may just puke. Did I say keep the ring?

But, you can throw away reminders, photos, papers. I tossed and burned those, too. It made me feel good. It was like shaking off the last really awful memories of a very painful and disappointing marriage. I was glad I did that. 

Of course, what about the photos with your ex and your children? What's that old saying, oh yeah, "that's like throwing out the baby with the bathwater." Yeah, I held on to those photos. It used to hurt to look at them. It doesn't anymore.

When you can look at the photos or the items that came into your life while you were married without feeling pain or sorrow or regret, you are healed.

I don't seem to care about anything related to that part of my life anymore. I am moving forward and onward and upward. I am no longer "anyone's" possession. 

Nobody owns me. I am my own person. I am free.

And, my fellow FWW visitors and bloggers .... me likey, me likey a whole lot! 

No one to judge me. No one to bitch because there isn't any tea made. No one to expect, demand, blame, cage.

My friend Kim told me something today that said what I've been thinking for years — she said, "Nothing is unconditional with men." 

She's right. With a man, there is always a price, a debt that must be paid in order for us to receive even the slightest kindness. 

But our children, our friends, our co-workers, and if we're lucky, maybe even our bosses can be our source for love and acceptance, peace and validation. Forget the old things — they are only things. Treasure what is good and whole in your life, today. 

Live now. No more regrets, no more sorrows. Move forward. Come on, you can do it with me. And, to hell with it — toss the ring.

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