Okay, this isn't going to apply to those of you whose husbands were caught waltzing off to Fiji with their secretaries. But the rest of you might get it.

You know that time around the end of your marriage, the time when you realize that if you have to share one more conversation with him you'll actually vomit into your Cobb salad? Have you noticed that's always the time when he wants to "spice things up"?

What is it about a failing marriage and the desire for ever-more kinky sex? What is that? He doesn't want to talk to you, he doesn't want to help raise the kidlets, he seems to have forgotten how to fill the gas tank, but now he wants you to dress up like a cheerleader, with the pompoms but without the panties?

Part of me thinks that this is because the men in question aren't attracted to us anymore. The other part of me — usually the bigger and louder part — still has faith in men and thinks they're doing it because they want the relationship to be better. They just don't have a damn clue how.

Can somebody please write a book? Like, How To Get Your Wife To Love You Again... (Hint: It has nothing to do with sex).

Wouldn't that be a good book? It could talk about going on dates that do not involve sporting events and give tips on how to sort your own laundry and how to find the vacuum cleaner in your own home. That would be a good book.