Sometimes I feel that my single friends overlook the fact that I'm having a difficult time being single and dating again. They say that at least I've experienced love and found someone to settle down with. They look at my divorce and think that just because it was amicable and happened so fast, that it wasn't such a big deal.

They don't understand what it's like to have someone walk out on you after you've invested over six years with them. They don't have to deal with the endless pictures of the guy who broke their heart that appear when they least expect it. They don't understand the lump in your throat every time you say "Mazel Tov" to a newly engaged couple. And they certainly don't understand having relatives call to congratulate you on being a new aunt, following it up with, "I know this was your plan with Steve... are you holding up ok?"

I sometimes think that when I turn to them for advice or to vent about my dating struggles, they don't have as much compassion since they've been single for much longer than I have. What they forget is that I've never dated before and that learning how to date at 29 is hard -- especially in a city like New York where the word "competition" is an understatement.

There are so many single, successful, attractive, independent women in the city. It's a man's dream come true. Seriously, look around. Fat, unattractive men are with stunning women. Short men are with Amazon women. Nerdy guys are with super models. I'm not being shallow, I'm merely observing what I see as I walk down the streets of Manhattan.

It's hard not to think that maybe these women are with them for money, or that they married for status -- so they could be a doctor's wife or a lawyer's wife. I didn't marry for money or for looks, although I take full credit for Steve's metamorphosis into a very good looking guy. I married for love and that was all that mattered.

I've been dating for a few months now and try not to compare everyone to Steve, attraction-wise. Will I ever be able to stop? I've been more open-minded and I've met some really nice people who are definitely not my type. But as my mother likes to tell me, "You married the pretty boy the first time around and look what happened. Now find someone who loves you unconditionally and will take care of you."

I know you have to sift through the bad seeds until you find the good one. I know I need to take time to think and breathe and I realize that life can be complicated. I know that I need to relax. Sometimes it's just hard to do.