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Get Out Of My Bed
Levi picked out all of our furniture, all of our towels, all of our...well everything. I still have all of this stuff, and I'm sick of it. I never really liked his taste much anyhow. He's really into dark hues, lots of browns — who knew there were so many shades of brown!
So, I've been gifting couches, coffee tables, curtains and more to my friends. I figure whatever is left behind I can donate.
It's not just stuff that I'm trying to rid myself of. There are a lot of habits that come along with living with someone for so long, and even after they're gone, the habits remain hard to break.
You know what I mean: Watching that same TV show every night, the one you used to watch together but now you're watching alone — and you don't even like the freaking show.
Sometimes I still set the timer on the coffee pot because Levi liked me too. The biggest one of all — my bed. What is the deal with that? Can I please have my bed back?
I keep trying to reclaim it. Every night, I make a conscience effort to fall asleep in the middle of the bed, to take up the whole bed. Still, I consistently wake up on "my side." I'm starting to think I should trade in my king for a single, as I don't use it anyway.
Has anyone else run into this?
The "Marriage Bed"
I think the most important thing for me has been to take back the bedroom. Physically and emotionally. It's such a symbol of the marriage - the whole "marriage bed" and everything. I'm still in the middle of my divorce, but was thrilled when someone offered me their slightly used bed. It's on the floor, but I have different sheets and different bedding and it just feels great! I can't wait until everything's final and a can really make the space mine.
-RA
I know what you mean....
When Steve moved out, I offered to give him our really nice, pretty new bedding since it was his taste and I couldn't fathom sleeping in a bed that we shared together once he was gone. I ended up giving it away since he didn't want it for the same reasons. I needed to start fresh with my taste and new sheets. I do still sleep on "my side"...I don't know if I'll ever be able to breat that habit!
-Michelle
My Motto: Start Fresh
I'm in the middle of a divorce/mediation and it's suprising how many of "our" things that I could care less about having. I would rather with over with my own stuff.
Tom
Getting Rid of...
I learned through my own divorce experience is letting go as much of the material things as you can since your heart is somewhat still stuck between the divorce/mediation and the 'unknown'. When I left the place I moved to with my ex husband, and realized there were absolutely no options, I had to leave everything except my clothing, my children's pictures and pertinent papers. I took not one single piece of furniture. A beautiful home and all, there was no question in my mind I had to struggle regarding how I was taking anything with me. I knew I was getting rid of a life I no longer wanted. Finally!!! When I settled into what became my own space, my own lily of the valley, it never felt better to know it was solely my taste, my colors, my ambience. Everything I had together with my ex at that time meant nothing because the new had replaced the old. I knew I had to get rid of every piece I had purchased, made or given to me along our marriage together, along with the person. Emotional detachment is not easy but it surely brings clarity to our senses.