Brian Kilroy's blog

Chances are good that you have full or partial custody of your children. This means that you play an extremely critical role in your kids' development, and possibly, a larger role than ever before.

If you're like many divorced moms, this may sometimes cause sleepless nights as thoughts of future tasks and responsibilities limit your ability to sleep peacefully.

Everyone wants their kids to be successful and happy in life. Family counselors hear this all the time. Amazingly, so do financial counselors. Why? Because feelings of self-doubt about one's financial prowess and economic success aren't uncommon. Let's face it, living well (or at least looking like we do) costs a lot these days and causes us to make many financial mistakes.

As parents, we must recognize and respond to every facet of childhood learning and foster an environment of optimum development for our children. Anything less exposes our kids to possibly making some of the same mistakes we did. One area of concern is financial awareness and aptitude.

The good news is teaching kids about money makes them better prepared and fortunately, also helps us to pick up a few pointers at the same time. Below are a few tips for teaching kids about money:  read more »

Determining the best alternative for financing a child's education is often a daunting task for married couples.

For divorced families, the task becomes even more complex. In cases involving divorce, not only are there often differing opinions about who should pay education costs, parents often have opposing views about the schools kids should attend or what their academic focus should be.

Here are some strategies for how you can plan to pay for your child's college education:

College is costly. Here are some rough estimates: In United States, the cost of higher education increases by approximately 6% per year and has consistently increased this way since the 1960s. At this rate, higher education will double in cost in about 12 years. This means, today's six-year-old will face costs roughly twice what today's college freshman pays.

Fortunately there are savings and investment plans to help and parents don't need a CPA to get started.

In recent years a growing number of parents have discovered 529 College Savings Plans (named for the section of IRS tax code they fall under). The government gave 529s special tax treatment because of a general concern about the spiraling cost of higher education and inflation.  read more »

Research purchases carefully. Use the internet to find the best products and to identify the lowest cost suppliers.

Spend in a disciplined manner. Buy only what you've budgeted.

Pay attention to coupons. Yes they're a pain, but they actually do save money when used for planned purchases.

Take public transportation instead of buying a car. At the very least, carpool whenever possible. Just one day of car pooling weekly helps automobiles last up to 20% longer, and also lowers other transportation costs too.

Track all spending. Keeping a spending log will open your eyes to "holes" in your budget.

Barter baby-sitting services with friends and family.

Carry your snack to the movies instead of buying there. Popcorn — at $4.50 a box and Coke for $4.75 a cup — are bad for your wallet, or your date's. Carry an apple and bottle of water in your purse instead. You'll save big bucks for you and make a great impression on him.

Organize a weekly "night-in" with your friends as opposed to going out. Take turns hosting, but require each guest to bring food to share with the group.  read more »

I few years ago, I worked with a client who had no money, health insurance, full-time employment, or left foot. He'd been in a wheelchair for two years because a prosthetic foot wasn't in his budget, and with his recent run of luck, wasn't in his future either.

Right now you're probably wondering what this has to do with women, divorce, or anything even remotely related. Keep reading.

The foot was amputated to save his life after a severe and uncontrollable infection spread through it. Over the next two years he tried without success to get a good job, but as luck had it, he just couldn't get the chance he yearned for. We talked several times, and even though he claimed to be optimistic, I knew he probably wasn't.

On a few occasions he'd say things like: "If I could just get a prosthetic foot, I be able to stand, feel better about myself, and project the image I want others to see. I'm certain that it [a new foot] would change my luck, but I've tried everything. Nobody is going to give it to me, and I can't get a job that will give me any chance of getting what I need for myself".

As a financial advisor, I wasn't very well informed about prosthetics, but I promised to help find a solution that might improve his luck.  read more »

In my last post, I wrote about a woman whose debt was piling up. She wanted to hold onto her marital home but things kept breaking down and, of course, everything requires routine maintenance. That's just life!

So, I told her about a Home Equity Line of Credit or HELOC. It's a revolving line of credit, typically with a variable interest rate. A fixed home equity loan (sometimes called a "second mortgage") is just that: a loan for a fixed amount, term, and interest rate.

With either, the amount you can borrow is based on the equity in your home and typical credit underwriting factors. Both are subordinate to primary mortgages, but because fixed home equity loans work somewhat like conventional mortgages, people sometimes refer to them as "seconds."

What the difference? HELOCs are revolving lines of credit in which the lender sets a credit line for you. You borrow by using the line as you wish to pay for repairs, consolidate bills, a vacation, cosmetic surgery, whatever. HELOCs are often offered with low application fees and closing costs (and sometimes with no costs at all). Interest rates are usually somewhat higher than for fixed home equity loans.  read more »

Through divorce and property settlements, women sometimes end up as the sole owners of homes that they previously owned jointly with their spouses. Women are frequently happy when this happens, but getting the family home in a settlement isn't always a big win.

Take for example, the case of a woman who, after careful planning and some spirited negotiation, got the family's luxury home in a hotly-contested divorce settlement. Located in an upscale neighborhood, the home was valued at more than a million dollars. And because it had originally been purchased with her ex-husband some fifteen years earlier, the property had more than quadrupled in value over the years. What's not to be happy about?

Yes, a mortgage was needed to secure the home, but the monthly payment was well within her ability (or so she thought). She felt compelled to keep the property to avoid changing schools, and to minimize the impact of the divorce on her two sons. "Besides, on my salary, there's no way I'd ever be able to afford another home as nice as this one," she told me.  read more »

Women going through divorce are financially vulnerable, may already be in debt, or find themselves in debt just after a split. Declaring personal bankruptcy can be the first step toward re-establishing financial solvency.

Bankruptcy rules and the social reaction to filing for protection have changed dramatically over the years. In the past, most of us knew only a few who had filed, and we knew fewer yet who had actually been "discharged" (approved). Those who went through the process typically kept it quiet.

The shroud covering the subject started to lift in the 1990's, when it seemed everyone was filing. Bankruptcy knows no boundaries — employment status, race, gender, and the like just don't seem to matter. We're all affected by it.

During the 90's, access to consumer credit flowed like never before. Personal debt increased significantly. Many believed the booming gains of the housing and stock markets would continue indefinitely. When the stock market "corrected" in 1999, severe problems started to surface.  read more »