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The Chemistry Of Divorce
Neurologist says we get more independent as we age
As we all know, there are many reasons that people seek divorced in midlife. It could be a midlife crisis — that's a big one among men. It could be just moving into different stages of their lives, particularly for women who stayed at home and raised kids.
However, I read a story the other day that offered up a more firm explanation, and it makes a lot of sense to me.
Louann Brizendine, a neurologist in California, says that our brain chemistry changes as we go through menopause. The chemicals that give us those "maternal instincts" everyone talks about are on the decline as we get older.
And Brizendine says that leads us to become more independent as we age. According to a story in the Sydney Morning Herald, the majority of divorces in couples over age 40 are initiated by women. Perhaps this could be one reason.
I love learning about things like this. It's easy to feel isolated when you go through a divorce, so every time you discover something that lets you know that you're not alone — that what you're experiencing is not unique to you — it's a good feeling.
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Although I have been
Although I have been divirced for years, I have no desire to re-marry- I love my independence and ME time and often, after a night out, look forward to having the bed to myself. Is this ok??
I believe it!
I am 46 and filing for divorce. My soon-to-be ex is forlorn and I have been telling him that I can't change how I feel any more than I can change the fact that I'm getting gray hair. It feels natural to want to be on my own. But I'm not sure that I'm reacting to hormones so much -- my husband was depressed for a great deal of our marriage -- but rather finally in my 40s I have the strength to make the change I should have made a long time ago. In fact, I told a friend (a lovely 30-something) that I feel better, stronger & more attractive now that I've felt in a very long time.