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Newbies Bring Back Memories
Talking to — not at — the new girl.
I met a student last week whose presence stuck a chord with me immediately.
We didn't speak much on the day we met, as she was being talked at by various other people.
Yes, I mean at. We all have been exposed to this at least once: trapped in conversations with people who are so caught up in their own rapture that they aren't even paying attention to their intended audience.
Anyone who would have taken the time to look at her face would have known that she was not absorbing a word of anything. I carried that same look for many weeks when I first moved to the city: apprehension, fear - shell shock. I imagine my moving from San Francisco was a far cry easier than was her moving from western North Carolina — think Norma Rae meets Deliverance.
I sent her a brief message later saying that I was available for whatever. I was overjoyed to find that she took me up on my offer.
We spent a great deal of the afternoon talking about her move here, the good and bad aspects of NYC, getting eaten alive by the Columbia Lion, and other survival tips that everyone should have. We swapped life stories — she's divorced too — as well as fears and hopes for the coming year.
She later told me how grateful she was that someone took the time to actually talk — and listen — to her. I just don't think that anyone should have to suffer through a transition if it's not necessary.
Most of the time when people
Most of the time when people are in a crisis all they need is an ear. We can all take a lesson in life to listen more- to each other, to the world, to our environment...
CM
Friends,
There are not enough people who will extend themselves to help someone else. New cities, can offer no mercy. How kind that you gave of yourself. I hope the same comes back to you if you ever need it. Nice to know you.....
Dorothy from grammology
Yes
Hi Dorothy,
There actually was a time many years ago when the same courtesy was extended to me. It was my first year in the army and I arrived at my first duty station without any of my possessions (they managed to get lost in the shuffle), and not a friend or acquaintance in the vicinity. Without missing a beat, my new neighbor came through in a way that I had never seen before. I was very grateful to her for extending that selfless kindness to me. I now do the same for others whenever I find myself in a position to be of help. It's just the right thing to do.
Thank you again for your kinds words.
Akillah