Michelle Rosenthal's blog

Stephanie and I decided to grab dinner prior to meeting our friends for a birthday on Friday night. We hit Bar Martignetti in the Nolita section of New York and then headed to R Bar for more drinks.

Sara, a new friend who I met through Stephanie, wanted to introduce me to Jason who's from the same town as I am. Although we didn’t know any of the same people, since he’s eight years older than I am, we had a great conversation reminiscing about all of the bars we went to when we were underage growing up in a college town. We also determined that we went to the same college, which gave us even more to talk about.

My “wingmen,” Stephanie and Sara, sat nearby and watched me to make sure I was “well-behaved.” As Jason spoke, he touched my arm and gave every indication that he was interested in me. He was cute, older, had a great personality and we had a lot in common. We even discussed how people never think I’m Jewish and assume that I’m Latina since I’ve got curves!

By 3 a.m. we were ready to head home and the four of us left together. Jason hailed a cab for us on the other side of the street as another one pulled up in front of us. Stephanie, my conscience, whispered, “Go in the cab with him, give him your number and that’s it. Do not make out with him!”
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So, my family is going away for the weekend in August with my brother and sister-in-law and her family. My parents booked their room and asked me to go with them. Actually, it was more like a Jewish guilt trip.

“We always spent a weekend every summer with your in-laws, so we have to do the same for your brother.” The catch? I would be sharing their room since they reserved a larger room with a sleeper sofa.

I’m 28-years-old, divorced and not dating anyone... I didn’t think things could get any worse until my mother said, “…and you’ll share a room with your father and me.”

Can we just say, I’m a pathetic loser? I thanked them for their offer and bailed out gracefully. I have three weddings this summer and I’m thinking of going to them even if it means going solo.

But can you imagine if I did decide to stay with my parents? “Uh, sorry mom and dad if I kept you up all night. That one-night stand I had last night was a rock star!”

Aside from the night prior to my wedding when I knocked on my parents’ door at 1 a.m. to climb into bed with them (doesn’t every Jewish girl do that?), I haven’t slept in a bed with my parents since I was a little girl. And then, it was only because I thought there were monsters under the bed.  read more »

My name truly defines me. I’ve just always been Michelle Rosenthal.

Aside from the wedding invitations addressed to “Mr. & Mrs. Steve XXXX”, my friends never changed my maiden name in their phones or on their e-mail messages or introduced me using my married name.

I was always in the “scene” and the social leader of my group. I picked the places we went, had all of the connections to avoid waiting in lines and bartended at some of the most fun bars in New York City and Westchester County. I have a big group of friends.

Somehow my parents believed me when I said I was going out for “coffee” when I began bartending my senior year of high school! I have a brother that was popular, especially with my friends, and an enviable contact list.

I come from a close-knit family. My last name ends with my brother, unless he has a son. I’ve always been Michelle Rosenthal and was against changing my name. But when I got married, changing my name was important to Steve. Of course I felt as if someone were asking for my unborn child when he asked when I was going to change my name already.  read more »

I recently spent an afternoon in downtown Manhattan with my friend Melissa in the Financial District for a happy hour of sorts. Then Rachel, with whom I grew up, convinced me to go out with her for her boss’s birthday, a guy I’ve known for a few years.

We grabbed sushi for dinner and then headed to Katra, a lounge in Nolita, to meet for drinks. Mike and Charles, two guys I’ve known since high school, were there as well.  We did shots at the bar, danced and had fun. 

Charles felt the need to tell me that if he didn’t have a girlfriend, he’d be all over me. Not only did he tell me that he thinks I’m beautiful and sexy, he told my friend Rachel as well…multiple times.  She told me that his eyes were glued to my ass when we were dancing and she called him out on it. 

Flattery is one thing, but someone practically drooling over you when they are wasted is completely disgusting. I seriously am frustrated with the fact that I’m constantly hit on by unavailable men. Where are the unattached, "normal" guys?  read more »

Okay, where did all of my money go? 

I felt so empowered a few weeks ago knowing that I’m a single, 28-year-old woman who owns her own apartment in the city, something a lot of people my age don’t have.

Okay, let me qualify it: I’m about to turn 29 next month and I’m separated from my husband Steve; our legal separation was finalized in mid-May.

But I have no debt, no loans, no maxed out credit cards. I make a good living doing financial investor relations and was even able to save some money in my own separate accounts.  Steve, of course, knew about my accounts since he had separate ones as well. 

Joint Citibank, separate Citibank, joint ING, separate ING, joint mutual funds, separate mutual funds. Come to think about it, I was basically prepared for a divorce even though I never thought I’d be in this situation. Don’t get me wrong, I still have all of my savings, but I feel like a walking debit card. 

I never realized how much money I spent. There always seemed like there was money to pay for everything. I even handled all of our finances: I took care of the bills, the investments…everything.  I basically was the man in the relationship.   read more »

I feel like a human “want ad.” I’m my mother’s new project, entitled, “Jewish Mother Seeks Mate For Recently Separated Daughter.” 

She’s been showing my picture to anyone who may know any single men, and let me tell you, the word on the street is that she’s asking!  But, the photo she’s been showing is no ordinary picture. 

She called me this morning to tell me she has no good recent pictures of me alone and that the ones  she has are either pictures with Steve, my ex, or photos where I’ve straightened my hair which, as she told me, “makes my head look flat.” 

In order to solve this dilemma, my mother found a picture that she truly loves from my wedding. She took matters into her own hands by cutting Steve out from the photo.  Did I mention the fact that I’m wearing a tiara?  In the typical Jewish mother style, she tells people I was a bridesmaid in someone’s wedding. 

I can hear it now: “Did you see how beautiful my daughter looks?  She was recently a bridesmaid!”  But, of course, I would actually wear a tiara to someone else’s wedding to compliment the big white dress I was wearing!  My mother assured me that the photo is from my bust upwards so no one can see what I’m actually wearing.   read more »

Wow…I can’t believe I deprived myself of Fire Island for so many years.

My friends had all but begged me to go with them for the last five summers, but I always had a reason why I couldn’t. I had no problem leaving Steve (from whom I’m separated) behind and having a girl’s weekend away, but I always made an excuse as to why I couldn’t go…it just seemed like somewhere that I would hate.

Alison and I arrived in Ocean Beach last Friday night and went to her share house to meet Karen to get ready for our first night out. Oh, get this: We were sharing a room with a couple, a single girl who would barely leave the room and a dog that was not house-broken. And, I had to share the top bunk of a twin bed with either Alison or Karen.

I discovered that Fire Island is a laid-back, unpretentious, walk-everywhere type of place. The houses are small and pretty gross, but everyone seems fun and friendly. I was given strict orders as to what I could wear out that night: flip-flops, jeans and a wife-beater. I needed to leave behind a bag, cell-phone and makeup.

“What if you guys leave me,” I protested to my friends. “I don’t know where I am!” I then made them pinky swear to “No man left behind,” which they wouldn’t agree to.  read more »

So last week Stephanie tells me I need to get out of the city for the weekend and she can’t believe that I didn’t make plans. She invited me to join her and Sam at his family’s house at the shore: “Be here by Happy Hour and we’ll pick you up at the train.”

Although Steph and Sam have become two of my closest friends since I’ve been in New York, I wasn’t in the mood to be a third wheel for the weekend. Still, she made it easy for me; I didn’t have to plan “accordingly,” unlike the last six years when I spent time with my future, then former in-laws at their beach house.

Then Alison, one of my oldest friends, texted me to join her and Karen in Fire Island, since she was now going away for the weekend as well.  I told her I couldn’t go, that my laundry was in the washing machine, blah-blah-blah. My head was spinning and I just wasn’t in the mood to make a decision that consisted of a cab, a train, another cab and a ferry…all in one day to get to a place that I didn’t even think I would like.    read more »

When life throws an unexpected curveball, you really learn which friends you can count on.

Natalie, one of my closest friends from childhood, and her husband, Mark, were in from out of town for a wedding and invited me to dinner prior to our meeting up with other friends. She hadn’t seen me since my separation and wanted to talk without everyone else around.

It was the first time I was the “third wheel.” No matter how comfortable you are with people, the discomfort of being the odd-man out sits in the pit of your stomach. Couples laugh at each other’s jokes, tell stories about things that happened since you last saw them and brag (in a cute way) about each other’s accomplishments—all things that you no longer have as a single, separated person.

You nod and smile, yet feel as if someone punched you in the gut. After dinner, mutual childhood guy friends met us at the bar. While I was speaking to some other friends, they ran up to Natalie and questioned her to see how I was doing since apparently they are all worried about me and just don’t know how to handle my “situation.”  read more »

Judgment day. The day you expect and you figure you’re just going to have to deal with it somehow.  My cousin Zev isn’t speaking to me.  Apparently his friend felt the need to dish about our evening and now Zev is pissed.  

Whatever happened to “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”? Even worse, who shares details about hooking up with someone’s female cousin?  As if Zev really needs to know? 

I received cold, one-word responses during our e-mail exchanges and knew that something was wrong. Knowing full well that I would be opening Pandora’s Box, I sent Zev a note and asked him a question I wasn’t sure I wanted the answer to:  “What exactly did I do that has you so pissed off?”

He wrote: “I didn’t know that this was the kind of person you are. And if you are, that’s all well and good, but I didn’t think that you were the type of person to just hook up with someone that you barely knew.”

Ouch!  Doesn’t the fact that a family member (Zev), knows Dan automatically give a guy the seal of approval?   read more »