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A Sane and Sober New Year's Eve
Posted to House Bloggers by Sondra Simmons on Thu, 01/01/2009 - 12:23am
I don't drink. It took a long time and some hard knocks to teach me that I just ought not consume alcohol, because my life is better when I don't.
But New Year's Eve is a good time for me to remember that.
It's pretty simple. I know there is nothing I can't make worse by adding alcohol to it. But the idea that one doesn't drink, ever, can be really difficult for people to grasp because drinking is such a huge part of life in these United States.
Big events are easy. I secure a glass of ginger ale or cola as soon as I arrive. When I have something in my hand, there's no reason for anybody to try to put a drink there, and I've never had anybody make a big deal of the fact that I'm abstaining from alcohol.
When I attend a more intimate affair, I bring sparkling cider or juice so I‘m sure there's something I‘ll enjoy.
But at either type of gathering, if the nonalcoholic drinks run out, if the shenanigans of the drinkers get to be a bit much, or if I find myself wanting a drink, I thank my hostess and leave.
Those who drink alcohol can be curious or unsettled in the presence of those who don't. Often people who have a problem with the idea that someone doesn't drink have an alcohol problem of their own. Others may simply be unused to the concept, just as it can take a while for some people to understand that "vegetarian" means not eating flesh at all, not even turkey or fish.
I've tried to assure the people I care about that they needn't worry about drinking in my presence. My alcohol issues are mine, and I don't want anybody else to get caught up in them.
The best way I've found to do that is not to take a drink. And so I will not be having a drink on New Year's Eve. Or, I hope, any other time.
Dear Black & Decker...
OMG, I can't wait to try out your new Stud Sensor!
Posted to House Bloggers by Debbie Nigro on Sat, 12/27/2008 - 1:28pm
Dear Black & Decker,
Talk about the perfect gift for a divorced gal!
Congratulations for coming out with the Stud Sensor! OMG! I bought one for myself and can't wait to see how it works. Your packaging says it detects studs through walls up to 3/4-inch thick.
Whoa! I knew technology had come a long way but wow, this is really exciting. I didn't open the package yet because I am just not ready.
You see, I overate again during the holidays and there's no point hunting studs if you're not prepared to do something about it once you hone in.
So here's my weekend plan. I'm going to drink lots of water, workout extra hard, do my roots, get a manicure, and pick up a couple of AA batteries.
On Monday I'm going to give my Stud Sensor a whirl.
I finally have room for it in my pocketbook now that I'm done with all those freakin holiday coupons — even if it is the It size of one of those old cell phones. Hey, it could be the size of a rump roast — who cares as long as it works. I'll let you know.
One question: Is there any particular protocol I am supposed to follow once I detect a stud through a 3/4-inch wall? Please get back to me before Monday.
Happy Holidays!
Debbie Nigro
Chief Executive Girlfriend
First Wives World
dnigro@firstwivesworld.com
2008: The Year in Divorce
Posted to Relevant News by Editor on Thu, 12/25/2008 - 1:34am
The splits. The fits. The emotional pits. And all the couples who called it quits.
This past year had it all. Some stories touched us, others moved us, many angered us, and a few even tickled us.
After much culling and sifting, we narrowed it down to 20 of our top picks from 2008. We hope you enjoy this little look back as we prepare to move forward.
The Let’s-Just-Be-Friends Award
(Most Amicable Divorce)
Robin Williams and Marsha Garces Williams
Talk about civil unions. No sooner had the couple announced their split after 19 years of marriage than they signed an official agreement stating "we commit ourselves to the collaborative divorce process and agree to seek a positive way to resolve our differences justly and equitably” — all for the sake of their two children. For those of you playing along at home, this is the way to go.
Runner Up: Dixie Chick Emily Robison and singer Chris Robison. How do we know they were both “ready to make nice”? Their divorce took a mere six months, and the filing was a scant two and a half pages.
The ‘Til-Death-Do-Us-Part Award
(Most Devoted Husband)
Mohammed Bello Abubakar
When Nigerian cleric Abubakar, 84, was told he had to divorce all but four of his 86 wives, he refused – even though doing so might lead to the death penalty. He is currently behind bars, fighting for his love. And you thought “Titanic” was the greatest love story ever told.
The Golden Goose Award
(Biggest Settlement)
Madonna & Guy Ritchie
read more »The Twelve Divorced Days of Christmas
(Sung to the original Twelve Days of Christmas)
Posted to House Bloggers by Debbie Nigro on Sat, 12/13/2008 - 2:15pm
On the First Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
Where the hell is my Alimony?
On the Second Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
I have two boxing gloves
Where the hell is my Alimony?
On the Third Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
There are three den leaks
I have two boxing gloves
Where the hell is my Alimony?
On the Fourth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
I have four bawling kids
Three den leaks
Two boxing gloves
Where the hell is my Alimony?
On the Fifth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
I have FIVE BRAND NEW FLINGS!!! (yeah baby)
Four bawling kids
Three den leaks
Two boxing gloves
Where the hell is my Alimony?
On the Sixth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
I have six lawyers preying
FIVE BRAND NEW FLINGS!!! (yeah baby)
Four bawling kids
Three den leaks
Two boxing gloves
Where the hell is my Alimony?
On the Seventh Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
I have seven accountants skimming
Six lawyers preying
FIVE BRAND NEW FLINGS!!! (yeah baby)
Four bawling kids
Three den leaks
Two boxing gloves
Where the hell is my Alimony?
On the Eighth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
I have eight shrubs a wilting
Seven accountants skimming
Six lawyers preying
FIVE BRAND NEW FLINGS!!! (yeah baby)
Four bawling kids
Three den leaks
Two boxing gloves
Where the hell is my Alimony?
On the Ninth Day Of Christmas my Ex Wife wrote to me
Kids have nine dancing lessons
read more »
A List of Gifts That Can Help Pull Your Family Together, Rather Than Apart
Posted to Resource Articles by Linda Lee on Sat, 12/13/2008 - 12:22pm
Here’s the problem with most Christmas presents: you already have it or you don’t want it. And as soon as it’s open, you’ve already forgotten what it was. Worse if you’re the one giving the present, and you’ve just watched someone open three identical gifts, one of which was yours. Worse yet, when the ex-husband outspends you four-to-one on presents for your children.
Especially this year, throwing money around just seems wrong.
So here’s a proposal. Try coming up with Christmas and Hanukkah presents that pull people together instead of splitting them apart. That offer an experience instead of something to be dumped in the bottom of a closet, or regifted.
It takes some thinking (which is free!) and you have to know the person well. But here are some ideas for holiday gifts that keep on giving.
• The bored teenager who has everything (1)
You’ll never find the right clothes because what was in last month is now out. Electronics? You don’t even know what the kid has at this point (a lot). Instead, give an experience. For $100 you can give him or her a gift certificate for a flying lesson. Yes, in an airplane. I’ve had a great experience with Pilot Journey but you can also go to a local (ideally small) airport and just talk to an instructor. The astonishment, the worry, the preparation, the lesson itself will stretch out in memory. $100 is a lot of money, but this is a lot of experience. You only have one first flying lesson in your life. And the whole family can watch and take pictures with their cell phones.
• The bored teenager who has everything (2)
read more »
5 Meaningful Holiday Gift Ideas Under $50
Posted to Resource Articles by Jill Brooke on Tue, 12/09/2008 - 1:24am
It used to be that opening brand name boxes — Tiffany's, Abercrombie & Finch, Ralph Lauren — would elicit oohs and ahs over the holidays. Okay, maybe they still do, but the diving economy has caused a shift in thinking, and now — hip hip hoorah — meaningful and personalized presents are the new status gifts this holiday season.
With that in mind, we have assembled a gift list that will touch the heart for $50 or less. In fact, these gifts could be considered priceless in that they hearken back to the original intention of the holidays.
1. Create a personalized photo book or calendar. Cull through all your old photo albums, slides, and memory cards and gather up some of your favorite pictures. Whether you choose one major event (wedding, birthday, trip), a shared history, or just treasured moments together, this is a wonderful present that can be appreciated for years to come.
Local retailers like Kinkos (calendar $19.99) and Ritz Camera both offer various options for creating unique pictorial presents from either digital or photo images. There are also online services like Snapfish ($18.99 for a 2009 photo calendar) that don’t even require you to leave your home, as long as you have digital images on hand. Our favorite is Apple’s iPhoto, which allows you to design glossy hard- or soft-cover photo albums with personalized captions.
read more »Demi Moore Blends Bruce into Holidays
Posted to Relevant News by Jill Brooke on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 4:29pm
Demi Moore recently starred in the film Flawless, an adjective that can also apply to her divorce. The actress, who is married to Ashton Kutcher, 30, says that she plans on having her ex-husband Bruce Willis, his girlfriend Emma Heming, 30, her husband, and three daughters for Christmas, as she had for Thanksgiving.
“I think the key with any past is that you recognize and hold on to what you loved and what you gained and you don't attach yourself to what you've lost," says Moore.
Don’t you wish more people would act like Moore? Both she and Bruce Willis have shown their daughters the endurance of love in how they broke up but simultaneously rebuilt a different family structure that still continues and thrives.
The good news is that more and more couples are recognizing the benefits of amicable divorces vs. nasty ones, and mediation is on the rise. Divorcing well is no longer an "indecent proposal."
Note To Self: Retail Therapy Does Not Cure Divorce Woes
(check out my blog every Tuesday and Friday)
Posted to House Bloggers by Sondra Simmons on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 1:19pm
I spent yesterday afternoon trotting in and out of stores, picking up an item or two here and there, nothing major dontcha know, until I froze with a little lamp in my hands.
It is normal, of course, to shop at this time of year. It is probably also normal to shop for oneself during the holidays. But all the stuff I bought yesterday was for me, and it's not as though I need any more stuff.
I'm already working hard to find places to put the stuff I already own. So what was I doing?
I looked at the lamp. The price was right and it would fit nicely on my nightstand (right next to the one I already have, I suppose) and it was a cute little thing, decorated with palm trees. Reminded me of home, the one I just moved back from, that is.
So that's what I was doing.
I've mentioned the geographical cure, the belief that changing your place of residence can fix what ails you. Yesterday I faced its cousin, retail therapy.
I thought I was holding up pretty well, chugging through my first holiday season as a divorcée, newly moved away from the place where I had spent the last 20 years. But if I was seriously thinking about buying a lamp I don't need because it has palm trees on it and doesn't cost very much — and I was — maybe I'm not quite as okay as I thought.
And buying a lamp, or anything else, certainly won't fix it.
I put the lamp down and walked away from it (with a backward glance). I remembered what AA teaches you to do when you don't feel so cheerful, which is to do something for somebody else. Stop thinking about yourself and your little problems.
So I spent some extra time with my elderly parents last night, trying to be especially attentive to them and remembering to be grateful that they're still around. The urge to shop has left me, at least temporarily.
And if it comes back, I'm sure I can find something else to do for my folks, or for someone else. It's that time of year.
