This time of year, it’s easy to think that even a bad marriage might be better than no marriage at all. When you are a couple, there is at least another body rattling around the house. If you’re divorced but have custody of the children, you’ve at least got little ones around the Christmas tree.

But if you have no children, or if your ex has the children for Christmas, it is hard to make merry. You can go home to your family, and accept more pairs of socks, blank diaries, and bars of soap. But eventually you have to go home, feeling even more alone.

Even being angry at your husband’s lack of sense in buying a gift (or effort) (or lack of buying a gift at all) can still seem better than being alone, perhaps looking at photos of Christmases past.

New Years Eve. Alone? Gack.

But a new study reported in Science Daily shows that pouring over old photo albums can be just the cure for depression at Christmas time. Two psychologists at the University of Southampton have found that nostalgia can generate self-esteem, create social connectedness, and alleviate a kind of existential dread.

In other words, the tendency as we grow older to muse about our childhoods, our high school sweethearts, our “good” years, can make us feel connected to other people, even if we are now alone.

Nostalgic “narratives,” looking at a photo, a video, or just remembering a good time, usually features you as the protagonist, and is almost always in a social context.

Nostalgia occurs in all cultures and among all age groups. Nostalgic thoughts usually concern someone we are close to, an important event, or somewhere important to us.

These studies show that nostalgia may promote psychological health, and increase overall positive feelings.

In an annual survey of 1,600 British youngsters, kids under 10 thought being fat was worse than being divorced — however, the split-up of their parents was a close second. In fact, if given the ability to be King or Queen for a day, the law they would most like to create would be a ban on divorce — the first time it's ever been mentioned on the list. Bullying would also be banished from the kingdom.

However, despite the specter of divorce in many children's lives, the Telegraph reported that over 80 percent of the children questioned thought they would probably marry when they grew up, although 17 percent gave a definite "no" on the subject.

Sixty-six percent wanted to have children, with most of them stopping at one or two. Nearly one third were unsure about becoming parents.

While no one wants divorce, some families definitely benefit from splitting up. As Georgina Bloomberg said recently, her parents’ divorce stopped the fighting, and they became lifelong friends, co-parenting their children. Many children eventually learn to see that distinction and still believe in love.

This may explain the high number of children still wanting to get married.

Other tidbits that came out of the list is that Simon Cowell was judged to be more famous that God or the Queen. Yikes.

The nationwide research was carried out by Luton First, sponsors and organizers of the fourth annual National Kids' Day in Britain.

Patricia Murchie, of Luton First, said: "It seems clear that many pre-teens are more concerned than ever with their looks and weight — possibly reflecting media images of glamour, and new educational initiatives in nutrition and healthy eating."

Demi Moore recently starred in the film Flawless, an adjective that can also apply to her divorce. The actress, who is married to Ashton Kutcher, 30, says that she plans on having her ex-husband Bruce Willis, his girlfriend Emma Heming, 30, her husband, and three daughters for Christmas, as she had for Thanksgiving.

“I think the key with any past is that you recognize and hold on to what you loved and what you gained and you don't attach yourself to what you've lost," says Moore.

Don’t you wish more people would act like Moore? Both she and Bruce Willis have shown their daughters the endurance of love in how they broke up but simultaneously rebuilt a different family structure that still continues and thrives.

The good news is that more and more couples are recognizing the benefits of amicable divorces vs. nasty ones, and mediation is on the rise. Divorcing well is no longer an "indecent proposal."

Christians say the Big Guy loves you, but not your divorce. Consequently, a St. Louis area company decided to whip any divorce-pondering couples into marital shape by organizing the Institute of Marriage Boot Camp, reports the St. Louis American.

Okay, not so much a "boot camp," per se, as a series of lectures by Baptist pastors, bishops, and assorted church leaders; some serious bible quoting; and a gift bag. Our favorite sound bite:

"God hates divorce," Roach said. "God created marriage, marriage is good. The problem with marriage is the people."

The thing is, according to the article, one-third of Christians have been divorced at least once. In an attempt to salvage the remaining two-thirds of the Christian population, the Religious community reached out with the pro-marriage event.

Who knows? Maybe a few walked away inspired and relationships were rejuvenated. If anyone can work matrimonial miracles, it's, well, God. Or a good marriage counselor. Or a combination of the two.

She was beautiful, and had a 5 year old daughter with her husband, the actor Danny Huston. She committed suicide this month before their divorce was even final, but the divorce did not “cause” her suicide. What caused it was bipolar disorder.

Katie Jane Evans, 35, was a born and bred English beauty, and her husband, 46, was the illegitimate son of the director John Huston and the English actress Zoe Sallis. They married in 2002, and moved to a house in the Hollywood Hills, in California, while Huston appeared in movies like How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. They visited Huston’s half sister, the actress Anjelica Huston. She was friends with the aristocratic Emma Parker Bowles, who also lived in LA.

Life seemed glamorous and exciting. Then things turned bitter.

The divorce proceedings, which she filed in California last year, were fraught with charges and countercharges. He used drugs. She tried to commit suicide with pain killers and alcohol, and had gone into rehab. He wasn’t capable of caring for their child. She wasn’t capable of caring for their child. She told Huston’s talent agent that she was bipolar, and had hidden that from her husband for their entire marriage.

Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness also called manic depression; people with a severe form live chaotic lives on the edge, take risks, have periods of exhilaration and wild creativity, followed by deep depressions. Some 20 percent of the most seriously afflicted commit suicide.

Despite the acrimony, the terms of the divorce were settled amicably: Huston gave her their Hollywood Hills house and $17,500 a month, half his income, and they agreed on shared custody of their daughter, Stella.

But, her friends said, she went into a deep depression over the end of her marriage.

On the campaign trail, Gov. Sarah Palin proudly holds her baby son, Trig, who has Down syndrome, and promises “to help families who have children with special needs.” You don’t have to know trigonometry to realize what that adds up to.

Gov. Palin addressed that issue in a speech today in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, to groups that deal with special needs. " ... [T]he truest measure of any society is how it treats those who are most vulnerable," she said, and brought up another way special needs has affected her family: her sister Heather has a 13 year old son with autism. Gov. Palin proposed three ways to better serve families with physical or mental special needs children:

• School choice for parents, with federal funding that will follow the child.

• The full funding of government's obligations under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act

• Strengthening the National Institutes of Health, to work on long-term cures and providing better information to families

Gov. Palin also urged extending the Vocational Rehabilitation Act to teach special needs children the skills they need to live independently. But having a special-needs child not only requires expensive, life-long therapy for the child — it requires marital therapy as well.

A little-known fact is that the divorce rates for parents with special-needs children is tragically high. According to the documentary Autism Every Day, the divorce rates for these parents soar to as much as 80 percent. A recent study in The Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology revealed that parents of a child with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are nearly twice as likely to divorce by the time the child is 8 years old.

And when I contacted various special needs organizations to get a figure for divorces, spokespeople were reluctant to give a firm number, but acknowledged that it’s “very high.”

When you get divorced, you quickly learn who are your friends and who are your frenemies. Madonna must be smiling because Gwyneth Paltrow and Trudie Styler are publicly rallying behind their pop star pal.

And let’s face it, when you are emotionally raw, you need faithful friends to vent to, even if you are a superstar.

Paltrow, who is married to Coldplay singer Chris Martin, sounds like she is giving the cold shoulder to Madonna’s soon-to-be ex, filmmaker Guy Ritchie. “I'm supporting her in all the ways that I can,” says Paltrow. “I'm just there for her. I speak to her a lot.”

Paltrow spoke about their friendship at the premiere of her film “Two Lovers” at the London Film Festival. She, like Madonna, lives part time in London.

Producer Trudie Styler, who is married to Sting, and is responsible for introducing Madonna to Ritchie 10 years ago, confirmed that their relationship had been in turmoil for quite a while.

“I love them both,” she told Access Hollywood with the diplomacy of a U.N. ambassador. “Obviously they’ve been struggling for a while. They're both dear friends of mine and all good things sometimes come to an end.”

And then she added, “I think they're destined to become great pals.”

Every divorced woman can’t help but monitor who is in her camp and who is in her ex’s camp. Although conventional wisdom says that a friend shouldn’t be asked to choose sides, it is very hard for someone getting divorced to share their innermost thoughts, knowing that you could be talking to a spy. Friends get divided into categories.

Some are cashmere. Some are wool. Some are polyester.

Here's your pet's pet peeve. Your beloved animals suffer anxiety when you separate or divorce, just as you do. In fact, the People's Dispensary for Sick Animals in London has added divorce to the list of events that can lead to "acral lick dermatitis."

Other causes of ALD – a constant chewing, sucking, and licking of a part of the body – are dogs who are isolated or bored, punished continually, or who have nervous and stressed owners. Sean Wensley, a senior vet at the People’s Dispensary for Sick Animals, says, “As a result of such licking, the area can become raw and itchy, which in turn leads to further licking or chewing."

Pets mirror our emotions. If your parrot plucks his feathers feverishly, your poodle pouts with downcast eyes, your calico cat meows mournfully, vets translate these things as a form of depression because, folks, they are "furry" upset by the disruption in the house.

And why shouldn’t they be?

As Wensley says, “Cats and dogs, like young children, are sensitive to adult human emotions and, when these become tense or unpredictable, this can cause stress-related heath problems.”

What are more symptoms?

"Dogs that are stressed can show signs of compulsive disorder,” he says, including chasing their own tails. Cats, he says, “can be prone to 'wool sucking' which, as the term suggests, involves sucking or chewing on woolen items such as blankets.”

Parrots sometimes pull out their own feathers after losing a mate — which, in a way, includes a human live-in companion — or experiencing some other type of trauma.

And that’s not all. The hospital’s studies show that when their owners split, pets can develop serious long-term nervous symptoms, including chewing on and biting themselves.

In Florida, there is no such thing as “joint custody”; instead it is called “shared parental responsibility.” The person given custody is technically the “primary residential custodian” and the other parent is the “secondary residential custodian.”

Why? Because courts around the world are trying to remove inflammatory words from family law, in hopes that will make divorce less fractious. In 2005, France eliminated any gender bias in the language in its divorce laws. It treats mothers and fathers as exact equals, except in one area: a wife may take back her maiden name.

As long ago as 1991, the British courts changed the language for custody, in an attempt to remove the sense of ownership that went along with the word “custody.” Because of that, 17 years ago, “we heaved a collective sigh of relief,” said Jonathan Smith, a family lawyer in Great Britain.

The problem, he said, was that the courts were using the new terms “parental responsibility,” “residence,” and (for the parent who does not live with the child) “contact” time.

But, he said, regular people, and the press, continued to talk about "custody" and "access" to the child.

And yet, people keep trying. In 2001, the Minnesota legislature adopted new language for custody and visitation, ahem, “in an attempt to lessen the animosity in custody battles.” One parent is the “primary caregiver,” but both parents are apportioned “parenting time.”

Even in New York, where we and everyone else have endlessly referred to “custody” in celebrity cases, like the Christie Brinkley-Peter Cook divorce, the actual terms are “residential custody” to one parent, making the other parent the “non-residential parent.”

Without saying one word about why his wife, Jennifer Butler, might have asked for a divorce, the actor Bill Murray said that the divorce had left him “devastated.” He was speaking about it now because he has a movie to promote, City of Ember, opening on Friday. So as with many Hollywood stars with a “hook,” he suddenly finds the need to unburden himself.

His wife filed for divorce in May, after 10 years of marriage and four sons, citing “spousal abuse” and her husband’s problems with drugs, alcohol, and sex addiction. That can’t be any fun for their sons, who are age 7 to 15. The divorce was rushed through and the information was private. She kept the children; he is allowed visitation rights and has to pay child support.

But now Murray is telling AP that his divorce is “the worst thing that ever happened to me in my entire life."

After it happened, he said, he was “dead” and “broken.”

"When you're really in love with someone and this happens — I never had anything like this happen. It's like your faith in people is destroyed because the person you trusted the most you can no longer trust at all. ... The person you know isn't there anymore."

OK, that’s a lot of self pity. And get this. The people on the movie are now claiming that the divorce not only devastated him, it made him better.

"If I could get through this in a powerful way, I feel that I have even more potential to do something," he told AP.

"I think I'd be working on a higher level. It'd be great to achieve, to do the art that I thought I was always capable of -- something that really, really affects people and grabs them and makes them feel and become alive."